Happy memories can be a huge contributor to our overall life satisfaction. In fact, it’s important that we actively work to dwell on them as much as we can. It’s not just because reflecting on good times is a pleasurable past-time. For one, we all have a responsibility to do our best to be happy.
Second, storing, revisiting, and creating new happy memories all have a ton of benefits to both our physical and mental health. Some of the reasons why may surprise you.
The Impact of Happy Memories
Customer service experts have concluded that it takes five or more positive customer interactions to undo one negative experience. Why? We humans experience a negative event more strongly than a positive one. For example, if we lose $100, the negative feeling we experience is more intense than the positive feelings we experience from winning $100. In other words, when bad things happen, we feel worse than how good we feel when comparable good things happen. If that makes sense.
Unfortunately, this tendency to dwell on negative things is amplified because the human brain, when unoccupied, is more likely to drift towards negative thoughts than positive ones. And once we begin to think those negative thoughts, we tend to get stuck there.
The more we brood, the worse it gets.
Thoughts begin to magnify, sometimes to unrealistic proportions. We’ve all had the experience of waking in the middle of the night and thinking about something until it feels too gigantic to bear.
So, what can we do to get unstuck when this happens?
This is where happy memories come in. There is one proven antidote to negative thought spiraling and dwelling on negative outcomes: Conjuring up a happy memory. So, we all need a large supply of the happy memories. And we also need to engage in activities that help us cultivate new ones. Think about your life and isolate thoughts that prompt you to smile. An experience that was particularly fun, a special memory of a child or parent, a playful moment with your dog. A beautiful sunset. A baby’s first words. It can be anything. As long as it’s yours.
When the blues come along, summon up the thoughts you have stored in your happy memory bank.
The brain is not capable of experiencing negative thoughts in the presence of positive ones. And the mere physical act of smiling when we think about these times helps us to dispel negative thoughts and begins to change our state of mind. Sometimes all it takes is a nudge in the right direction to flip the balance.
Let’s do all we can to add at happy memories to our banks each day.
The more we smile, the happier we feel – and we all deserve to be happy – we are so much more than enough.
Please post a comment to share some of your happy memories – the more of us who smile because of them, the better.
Thank you as always for reading.
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Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Her career includes 20+ years as a health care executive and 15 years (and counting) as a consultant. The common thread through Joan’s professional life has been a commitment to lead, mentor and coach current and future leaders, and women from all walks of life. KindCompassCoach provides information and advice grounded in Joan’s personal experience; however, all articles are backed by research and provide facts and advice from a wide variety of experts. Joan also serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me.
3 Responses
Great article! It’s good to get a reminder that it is in our control whether we are happy or not. It’s not all down to luck and outside factors.
Some of my happiest memories are the holidays I went on with my dad. We went to some very cool places and I hope I can do the same thing for my daughter when she is a little bit older.
I really enjoyed this read. A lot of people don’t realize also that their negative thinking, feeling, energy, affects the people around them as well!
I have this positive memory bank that I use when I have bad dreams – I get them a lot. My positives memories are my wedding day, cuddling with my dog, meeting my husband, the kind comments I get on my blog :). I love the idea of adding to this bank everyday, I think that would encourage an attitude of gratitude as well – especially if you start looking for a positive memory from that given day. Thanks Joan, great post!