I’ve studied wellness and have read oodles of psychology, motivational and self-help books. I’ve experimented with well-being and wellness tactics and strategies and explored various approaches with colleagues and friends. Based on what I’ve learned, I’ve come up with a recipe that I call the “Secret Sauce” for well-being.
It includes 7 basic ingredients we all need to be content and happy.
Believing we know the recipe for well-being doesn’t mean that we have all the ingredients on hand all the time, or ever, for that matter. But when we feel out of sorts, revisiting the recipe can help us figure out what we may need to replenish in the cupboard, so to speak.
Reading and reflecting on this recipe may help identify areas of our lives that need nourishment.
Or it may help us identify things that we’re doing that are important and essential to continue.
The balance of healthy ingredients in our lives can change often, even day to day, based on our circumstances, stresses and joys. It helps to check in frequently. So, let’s get cooking!
Well-Being Secret Sauce
Well-being requires Self-compassion
To cultivate our personal well-being, we must be as kind, gentle, forgiving and supportive of ourselves as we strive to be with others. We must cultivate a soothing inner voice, and be as thoughtful, nurturing, and generous with ourselves as we would be with a friend or a small child. Do you give yourself generous doses of self-compassion regularly?
Well-being requires Self-care
I think of self-care as the icing on the cake of self-compassion. Just as we are kind and care about ourselves, we must do things that nurture our spirit and nourish our bodies. To cultivate well-being, we must attend to our physical and emotional well-being, which includes carrying out small indulgences because we respect and honor ourselves.
For me, self-care includes taking time to meet my health care needs, like wellness appointments with my doctors.
It’s also an occasional indulgence in a pedicure, or a purchase of something small that makes me feel, well, special. A new set of earrings; a colorful notebook; an amazing pair of shoes. Knowing I’m worthy of a small reward is really the treat, I guess. It’s a way for me to demonstrate that I am worth of and committed to my own well-being. Self-care for me also involves making exercise a priority, especially if it involves something I love, such as gardening. And doing what it takes to pursue my own personal short- and long-term goals.
Well-being requires Solitude
Nothing beats the calm of a quiet moment. We need these times to reflect on deeper thoughts than the small, trivial things we get jammed up in during our busy days. To best nurture our well-being, solitude includes having the time to be alone, and also having a safe refuge – a place to go where we are protected from interruptions, noise and chaos. A safe haven.
For me, this can be a quiet room in my own home, but it can also be church or a walk in a park or around the neighborhood.
Some people have the inner strength to create a safe haven, wherever they are, whenever they need it. I’m not ashamed to say, I envy them.
Well-being requires Safety
I think everyone needs to know they have people and surroundings where they do not need to fear harm. This is more than being protected from criminals or theft. Safety involves knowing that we can express ourselves, our beliefs, preferences and opinions, without fear of reprisal, punishment, discrimination, or judgment. It seems so basic, but I believe this is a need that is difficult for many to meet. It’s also about being able to talk openly about subjects or feelings without fear of being belittled.
Without safety, we may keep things inside that we should be able to express out loud.
Keeping things in prevents us from being our fullest selves. And when we aren’t able to be our fullest selves, the world pays the price. If only we could all find safety, and provide safety to those around us, too. I think many of us fail to find it, and often, too, fail to provide it to others, without realizing it. Each time we judge, we diminish someone’s safety.
Well-being requires Satisfaction
I think we all crave the reward that comes from doing good work we are proud of. I don’t mean “proud” in the prideful sense that jumps to mind first. What I mean is, we need to feel good about the things we spend our time doing; our deeds must be satisfying to us. We need to feel that the things we do are worthy, that we’re using the gifts we have been given, and that we’re good people who perform good acts. Not in a boastful way. Just in a quiet, contented way. And in a way that makes us feel that we are paying things forward, creating good karma.
Well-being requires Socialization
I realized a few months ago that a key ingredient in my life that had been lacking was socialization with others. We are, after all, social animals. Some of us need a little social interaction, some of us need a lot. But we all need some.
When we interact with others, we learn more about ourselves, we grow, we become more informed and educated about the world around us.
Socialization allows us to practice empathy, compassion, tolerance, and sometimes, patience. There are also times when it brings us unexpected joy, insight or other rewards. I believe we need a dose of quality interaction with kindred (or different) spirits from time to time to feel whole.
Well-being requires Spirituality
I believe this is another intangible that to a certain degree, defies description. For some, it’s clear. And we all know what we think of when we consider feeling well spiritually. For some, it’s a need met through our faith in a Supreme Being or participation in a organized religion. For others, it’s not so clear – but we know it when we feel it. I believe spirituality is one of the lynch-pins to strength.
There are people I’ve known who seem to possess this quiet calm.
They are not ruffled by life’s challenges. They face obstacles with peace and poise. I believe these individuals have that inner spiritual strength required to achieve serenity and well-being. Boy, if only we could bottle that stuff.
So, there you have it, the recipe for well-being.
What do you think? Does this recipe for “Secret Sauce” resonate with you?
Where are you finding your strength lately? Drop a comment, please, and share your secrets with us, too.
If you haven’t yet subscribed, please visit KindCompassCoach and enter your email address so you never miss a post.
As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases. We may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) for purchases made through links in this post.
Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Her career includes 20+ years as a health care executive and 15 years (and counting) as a consultant. The common thread through Joan’s professional life has been a commitment to lead, mentor and coach current and future leaders, and women from all walks of life. KindCompassCoach provides information and advice grounded in Joan’s personal experience; however, all articles are backed by research and provide facts and advice from a wide variety of experts. Joan also serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me.
2 Responses
Joan, I love your “secret sauce”. This is such an easy way to take stock of ourselves when we are feeling somehow out of sorts, and evaluate areas where we are running low. You are right, we won’t always have all of the ingredients at hand, but at least if we are aware of what we need, we can focus on that in the moment. And yes, always start off with self-compassion. We are too often too hard on ourselves!
Thank you so much for your comment Lori!