What does it really mean to be a high maintenance person? This label is often used to describe people with very specific needs and preferences. High maintenance folks often require extra attention and effort from others, too, and they tend to become the center of attention, even when they should be playing a supporting role in an event or occasion. But let’s talk about it some more. What makes a person high maintenance?
What Makes a Person High Maintenance?
High maintenance people have very particular and specific expectations and demands in most aspects of life, including relationships, personal grooming, material possessions, and social interactions.
They may prioritize their own needs and desires over others often and can be overly meticulous and precise in their lifestyle choices.
They may also be oblivious to the needs and priorities of others, which makes it difficult for them to have positive, respectful relationships with friends or partners.
High Level of Emotional and Attention Needs
One characteristic of a high maintenance person is their heightened emotional and attention needs.
They tend to require constant reassurance, validation, and support from others, seeking frequent confirmation of their worth and importance.
They may also expect undivided attention and priority in social gatherings or relationships, wanting to be the center of attention.
A High Maintenance Person May Be a Perfectionist
High maintenance individuals often exhibit perfectionistic tendencies and have a keen eye for detail.
They may have specific preferences or expectations for their surroundings, appearances, or routines.
Deviation from these standards might cause distress or discomfort, leading to a need for adjustment or correction.
They Are Often Materialistic
High maintenance people like their stuff! They may tend to prioritize luxury, brand names, or status symbols.
They may have a preference for high-end products or demand lavish experiences.
This inclination towards materialism can stem from a desire for external validation and a need to be perceived as successful or wealthy.
A High Maintenance Person May Be Fixated on Their Appearance
Another aspect of being high maintenance relates to personal grooming and physical appearance.
These individuals may invest significant time, effort, and resources into maintaining their looks.
This can include salon appointments, elaborate beauty routines, and a meticulously curated wardrobe.
They may feel compelled to constantly present themselves in their best possible light.
High Maintenance People Can Be Aggressive
High maintenance people may be assertive and vocal about their needs and desires.
Sometimes this crosses the line, and they may be seen as aggressive or overly demanding.
They are not afraid to voice their concerns or dissatisfaction when their expectations are not met.
This can sometimes lead to conflict or misunderstandings, as their assertiveness may come across as entitlement to other people.
They May Have Positive Qualities, too!
It’s important to recognize that high maintenance people can also possess positive qualities, thought the term often carries negative connotations.
They may be detail-oriented, passionate, diligent, or deeply caring people who value quality and strive for excellence.
Understanding and Reconciliation
Though it can be difficult to do so, it’s best to approach high maintenance people with empathy and understanding.
Before judging someone, it’s important to attempt to understand potential underlying drivers of high maintenance behavior.
This can potentially be quite enlightening and lead to more successful interactions, and ultimately a stronger relationship.
It is possible to build fulfilling relationships that accommodate the unique needs of each person involved.
How to Spot a High Maintenance Person
The high maintenance persona encompasses a complex set of traits and behaviors.
High maintenance people tend to be very particular and have high expectations.
They may also make themselves the center of attention too often, which can make it difficult to set boundaries and engage appropriately.
While navigating relationships with high maintenance people can present challenges, it is important to approach them with empathy, understanding, and open-mindedness.
Thank you as always for reading.
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Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Her career includes 20+ years as a health care executive and 15 years (and counting) as a consultant. The common thread through Joan’s professional life has been a commitment to lead, mentor and coach current and future leaders, and women from all walks of life. KindCompassCoach provides information and advice grounded in Joan’s personal experience; however, all articles are backed by research and provide facts and advice from a wide variety of experts. Joan also serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me.
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