How to Quit Multi-Tasking and Live in the Moment

I read a blog post the other day that described how to work fitness into your day.  It had tips about how to exercise while you are doing other things. It made me frustrated, because after years of trying to do too many things at once, I’ve concluded that multi-tasking is for the birds. It’s the absolute opposite of mindfulness and I believe we do each other a disservice when we encourage it. So, we need to knock it off.

Why We Must Stop Multi-Tasking

There was a long period in my life when I was constantly multi-tasking, doing three or more things at once.

I would fall into bed at the end of an 18-hour day, my heart racing, eyes darting about, feeling out of breath, not able to remember one moment of my day with clarity.

On the surface, I was “doing it all”, multi-tasking to beat the band, in fact.  And I was fit, by golly!

However, there were a few pretty major things I wasn’t doing.

For one, I wasn’t experiencing my feelings. They were stuffed so far down I didn’t even know they existed. 

I was too busy doing several “important things” at once to deal with them.

For two, I wasn’t doing my best at anything I was doing, either.

This period of my life was an intense example of some bad quantity over quality decision-making.

Unfortunately for me, I didn’t know it. And so, it continued, for close to 20 years.

I was a maniac.  People used to say they didn’t know how I did it all.  I didn’t know either.

In my late 40s, my body started to rebel.

The Human Body Rebels

One night, I got up from bed to go to the bathroom and wound up on the bathroom floor.  I had passed out and hit my cheek on the ceramic tile step surrounding the bathtub.  It led to TMJ issues with my jaw and teeth that resulted in a full mouth reconstruction, after 3 years of chronic pain and medication. Around the same time, I developed vertigo, and frightening memory and neurological issues.  I began to struggle with inflammation and arthritis in other joints besides my jaw.  Acid-reflux.  Depression.  Anxiety. Exhaustion. There’s more, but you get the idea.

So anyway, my body forced me to slow down.  Thank goodness for me.

During the aftermath, and while continuing to deal with chronic illness, I made some changes.  Surgery to minimize my TMJ misery.  Ceasing all pain meds.  Changing jobs.

Life After Multi-Tasking

And, yes, I stopped multi-tasking.

I stopped doing three things at once.  I learned to focus on what I was doing as it was happening because I had to; my brain couldn’t keep up with my previous pace. 

There’s a word for that now:  mindfulness.

I didn’t know it then.

Science had not yet begun to shout at us about it yet.  My body just kind of figured it out on its own.

So fast forward to today.  After decades of articles describing how we could actually “have it all” and be everything to everyone by doing three things at once, the results are in.

And the undeniable conclusion is that multi-tasking is bad for us.

Instead of helping us accomplish more faster, multi-tasking actually causes us to perform poorly on more tasks and complete them in a less efficient manner.

In the end, we sacrifice quality, we make more mistakes, and we emerge from periods of intense multi-tasking stressed and unfulfilled.

Sometimes, the mistakes we make are trivial, but sometimes they can be deadly.  Texting, talking, and driving is one example of a deadly combo too many people accept as “normal”.

Multi-Tasking Prevents Us from Finding Flow

If the potential consequences of being distracted aren’t enough, multi-tasking also makes it almost impossible to enter a state of “flow”.

Flow is that desirable state where we are completely absorbed and focused and don’t even notice the passing of time – that condition some describe as happiness.

So, ask yourself.  Have you recently:

• Talked on the phone while shopping?
• Monitored text messages or emails while in a meeting or a class?
• Done work while getting a pedicure?
• Read or texted or talked on the phone while eating?
• Watched a movie and read a magazine at the same time?

Stop. Doing. It. Now.

It’s taxing your body and your mind.  And you’re being pretty rude to the people participating in those texts, or phone chats, or movies, or whatever.  And your co-workers – those poor people! Not to mention those who are sitting at the kitchen table trying to share a meal with you.

While I’m ranting a bit, let me say, that I don’t get annoyed often, but if you want to get on my nerves call me and talk to me while you do your dishes or wander through a busy department store.

And if you’re busy when I call you, please don’t answer your phone.

Or if you do answer it, just tell me you’ll call me back, when you’re home, and can give me your undivided attention.

I will understand! And whatever you do, please don’t ask me to hold while you talk to the cashier – or take another call.

Because we all deserve better than that.

We deserve to be fully in the moment, and to have others there with us.

To notice the sighs and pauses and emotions behind the words our friends and family are sharing.

We need to sense the texture and flavors of the food we are eating.

And to feel the sensations of that glorious foot rubbing and scrubbing during our pedicure.

Most importantly, we should be looking into the eyes of the people around us as we share a conversation, not looking at our phones or reading the newspaper.

Because this is where the beauty and depth and richness of life is.

In doing one thing at once and doing it well, and more mindfully then we ever have before.

Enjoy your day and make it a mindful one – no meditation required – Just do one thing at a time!

Thank you as always for reading.

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KindCompassCoach

Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Her career includes 20+ years as a health care executive and 15 years (and counting) as a consultant. The common thread through Joan’s professional life has been a commitment to lead, mentor and coach current and future leaders, and women from all walks of life. KindCompassCoach provides information and advice grounded in Joan’s personal experience; however, all articles are backed by research and provide facts and advice from a wide variety of experts. Joan also serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me.