We hear it all the time: we should be kind to ourselves. It’s possible we’ve accepted that, and even that we truly understand the difference between self-compassion and self-care, too. But even with all that knowledge, we may struggle to know how to actually practice self-compassion.
Taking a few minutes to learn more about why self-compassion is so important can help to up our motivation. Once you’ve done that, read on for suggestions about how to easily work self-compassion into your daily life.
We need suggestions about easy ways to be self-compassionate to help us to do the things we need most. Though self-care is important, no amount of it will bring us peace in the absence of self-compassion.
How to Practice Self-Compassion
Not sure how to start? Here are 5 easy ways to be self-compassionate.
1. Practice Self-Compassion by having a heart-to-heart conversation with yourself can completely change our outlook.
This is 100% within our control. It takes determination and will-power not to fall into familiar communication patterns when we do this.
To help us speak to ourselves in a motivational and positive way, we can intentionally focus on self-compassion affirmations.
I like to focus on 1 at a time so I can spend a little time personalizing it to myself.
For example, “I accept myself as I am” is something I could think about for weeks …. including all my faults, weaknesses, and moments when I’ve been less than my best self.
2. Choose a name and personality for our inner voice.
Is it a coach from earlier in our life? A mentor who helped us in our career? A loving relative who was an exceptional role model?
Maybe it’s a celebrity or athlete we admire. We get to choose.
And from now on, when the inner dialogue begins, picture that person doing the talking.
I guarantee the quality of feedback they provide will be awesome.
And their kindness to you will also register as support – another way we experience self-compassion.
3. Practice Self-Compassion by remembering that others struggle, too.
Some people find great benefit in joining support groups, attending meetings with others, etc., but sometimes the comfort we seek can be close at hand.
Twitter, Facebook and other social media can be an incredibly supportive place, if we seek out other like-minded people who are on a similar journey.
We just have to choose wisely.
4. Practice Self-Compassion by making a list of 5 qualities about yourself that you are truly proud of.
I make an incredible lasagna and do a good job at meal planning and feeding large groups of people at the holidays.
I’m also a good “gift-picker-outer”.
What are your special qualities?
Start with a list of 5 and try to add to this list every day.
We are all special in different and unique ways and we should take time to recognize and appreciate our gifts.
Giving yourself a well-deserved pat on the back from time to time also counts as a dose of self-compassion.
5. Our level of happiness is about the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.
Another easy way to improve your own ability to practice self-compassion?
Try to figure out who is bringing your average happiness level down.
Then consider how you can gently disengage or reduce the amount of time you spend with that person.
When you do interact with that person, hopefully you’ll begin to bring their average up more than before!
Notice again, there are no days at the spa here, and no expensive splurges.
Self-compassion also doesn’t take a lot of time, just an effort to be mindful as our day unfolds.
Thank you as always for reading.
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Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Her career includes 20+ years as a health care executive and 15 years (and counting) as a consultant. The common thread through Joan’s professional life has been a commitment to lead, mentor and coach current and future leaders, and women from all walks of life. KindCompassCoach provides information and advice grounded in Joan’s personal experience; however, all articles are backed by research and provide facts and advice from a wide variety of experts. Joan also serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me.
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