For a while now, I’ve had a hard time doing anything that I consider “optional”. At first, I was proud of myself for letting some things slide. Not too long ago, I would’ve been tearing around like a maniac until I had checked off everything on my to-do list. I’d been working too hard for too long, and it was time to dial it back. The problem is, I started to dial it back in the wrong areas. In truth, I need a real reboot on how to make self-care a priority.
Why is it hard to make self-care a priority?
I still tend to tear around getting stuff done that’s important to others.
If someone asks me to do something, I’m all over it.
When someone leaves me a message to call them, I pick up the phone.
When a family member asks for my help, I’m there.
The things that I’ve put off are the things that matter to that one person who won’t yell at me: ME!
Why is self-care not more important to me? I berate myself about so many other things: why can’t I nag myself enough to be sure to prioritize self-care in my life? No More B.S.!
Let’s Get Bossy and Make Self-care a Priority
So, today’s post is me being bossy with myself about that important self-care stuff.
The stuff that should be non-negotiable.
Tasks that I should consider “Duties” – so that I carry them out without question.
Self-care activities that are good for me. And enough with the B.S. I’m not too busy. No one is too busy to take care of themselves.
If tragedy struck, I could and would clear my calendar.
In a situation where someone else’s life was on the line, I would be there.
If I can leap into the fray for other people, I can figure out a way to take that walk, read that book, get that massage and go to that yoga class.
And it’s time for me to do those things – without a tragedy to get me moving.
Here’s what I decided.
It’s not realistic to do all the things that are good for me every day.
But it’s reasonable for me to start the day with a single self-care intention.
Each day’s intention will be different.
Today’s intention might be: “I will drink 8 glasses of water”. That’s it. 1 thing. This is a place to begin.
If I have this one thing to do to call the day a success, my obsessive self will make it happen!
Carrying out each day’s intention will be a giant step forward.
Maybe tomorrow will be the yoga class.
And Thursday will be the walk.
But darn it, each day is going to include something that’s just for me – to make me feel healthier, more relaxed and to remind me that I matter: to me!
And I will find a way to make self-care a priority.
Making just one decision like this each morning – eliminating the “maybe” in our day – can create clarity.
It takes so much less energy to get up and do something than it takes to waffle about it all day. S
o, I’m going to start each day with intention.
Do the most important thing first. Make self-care a priority. In other words, make me a priority. The world will keep spinning.
No More Excuses about Self-care
And there will be no excuses.
Work beckons, but I will ignore it. I can start the day 30 minutes later, as long as I get my work done. And I will. On heavy workload days, I’ll get up an hour earlier or go to bed later – I’m strong; I can handle it.
Taking care of others will always be a responsibility, too, but I can and will seek solutions. Others who offer help. Letting others carry the load. Encouraging others to be more self-sufficient. And also encourage them to prioritize self-care by setting a good example.
Chores around the house? Not as important as my own health and self-care. Right?
I’m committing to put my mind in the right place; to view what might seem “optional” as mandatory, and to invest as much energy into finding solutions to how to meet my own needs as I would put into meeting the needs of others.
Are you with me? The mantra for me every time I start to shirk my self-care is going to be “No More B.S”. Get bossy!
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Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Her career includes 20+ years as a health care executive and 15 years (and counting) as a consultant. The common thread through Joan’s professional life has been a commitment to lead, mentor and coach current and future leaders, and women from all walks of life. KindCompassCoach provides information and advice grounded in Joan’s personal experience; however, all articles are backed by research and provide facts and advice from a wide variety of experts. Joan also serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me.
12 Responses
This post is so great! This is a really good way to get yourself going when it comes to yourself and I love love love it! I tend to get crazy trying to get things done, and also forget basic self care stuff or put it on the backburner. I really needed to read this!
Much Love,
Kat
https://boozyhousewife.family.blog/
Yes, self-care should be non-negotiable, though it often is easier to put off than other things on our to-do lists. Joan, this post is a great reminder to put self-care first. Thanks for sharing!
Cindy, thanks so much for reading and commenting. I really appreciate your interest and support of the blog!
Yes, just one thing a day is a great place to start! I gotta’ do this! I guess I’m really low maintenance because it is hard for me to think of things I should do for myself. The water thing is not something I want to do, but I do try. I would much rather have a Dr. Pepper…all…day…long. Caffeine and sugar addict here!
I love your blog, Joan! Great ideas and encouragement all around!
I love Self-care! This was such an empowering post! Maybe I need to do that now!
I absolutely love this post, Joan! This is such a wonderful message to take care of ourselves and do it often too. It sounds like you have a great approach with different manageable and realistic intentions everyday. I think self care can get overwhelming and stressful when we try and change everything in one go, which defeats the whole point of it, I guess. Your suggestion sounds like a more kinder, gentler and effective way to make positive changes. I love that you are making self care a non-negotiable task too, that is such a great attitude! Thank you for the encouragement and reminding us how important self-care is. Fab post lovely <3 xx
Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com
I love these affirmations, they are so powerful. I think sometimes we run around so much after other people that we completely forget to carve out time for ourselves. It’s good to be reminded that self-care isn’t selfish – the household chores can definitely wait for another day, love it!
Lisa | http://www.lisasnotebook.com
I think self care can be difficult at times, because it’s not often seen as being routine-the emphasis has been on it being something out of the ordinary, whereas daily practices could (and should) be implemented…
Great post!! I’m exactly the same, it’s so easy to put everything else first, to completely stress out about the things that ultimately don’t matter but when it comes down to looking after yourself, it’s the hardest thing ever. I really hope the being bossy works and you can look after yourself.
These is such a great post Joan. I love these affirmations and agree that self care should be a priority. “No more B.S.”
Great post! I often feel like I’m all give and no take. This year I’ve decided to say no to stuff I don’t want to do. The one affirmation idea is great, enjoy your self care!
I can be so guilty of this! If I see it as optional I can very easily skip it but I always make sure I get the things done that I consider necessary. Taking some ‘me time’ should be a priority x
Sophie
http://www.glowsteady.co.uk