Feeling overwhelmed? Some definitions include: “completely submerged”; “feeling frozen, lost, or paralyzed”; or my favorite: “simultaneously exhausted and dejected”.  Ouch. Sound familiar?

The synonyms to ‘overwhelmed’ probably resonate with most of us, too: feeling beaten, crushed, devastated, disheartened, or humbled.

There’s not a perfect word to describe this condition, so let’s just call it having a case of “the overwhelms”.

Whether we use the same word or not, we know how it feels to just be overcome by it all, from time to time.

So, let’s talk about what to do when you feel overwhelmed.

What To Do When You Feel Overwhelmed

Before we dive into this, let’s get one thing out in the open up front.

Having a case of “the overwhelms” is so common, virtually everyone can relate to it.

So, none of us should feel like we’re struggling alone.  Yep, it’s a mighty ubiquitous ailment, and it’s also crazy contagious.

The overwhelm of one tends to trigger the overwhelm of others, and the overwhelms are also a great equalizer.

None of us are immune. In fact, chances are quite good that we will all feel overwhelmed at one time or another.

Feeling better already?

Life Shouldn’t Be So Overwhelming

Way before the 21st century, life started to get more complicated for us.

We didn’t really expect that to happen.

Because over the last 100 years, there have been scores of advances in technology and medicine that we thought would make our lives less demanding, less frightening, and easier to manage.

• Machines that perform household tasks we used to do manually (lawn mowers, washing machines, dishwashers, microwaves).
• Medications that help prevent or manage conditions that would have before been deadly (vaccines, diagnostic tools, new drugs and therapies).
• Transportation improvements, enabling us to more easily move from place to place (cars, planes, mass transit).
• Inventions that make our day to day lives more comfortable (plumbing, electricity, lighting).
• Technologies that manipulate data, perform analysis, and provide us information we had no way of acquiring before (the internet, cell phones, computers, software and applications).

Stands to reason that our lives should be more pleasant as a result of these advancements, right?

Conventional wisdom dictated that life would become more restful and we would feel less stress as we embraced these improvements.

But as we all know, it didn’t quite turn out that way. Why?

Why Everyday Life Has Become Overwhelming

The flip side of all our advances is a dramatic increase in two other things: choices and information.

Today, we have more choices for almost everything.

And the choices seem to multiply almost daily. Choices create complexity.

Choices also mean we have more decisions to make.

Decision making requires critical thinking, and critical thinking often increases our stress level.

The more options we have, the more time it takes to consider them all.

And the more information we have available to support the range of choices, the longer it takes to process the information.

And added demands on our time also create stress.

In short, we’ve got a lot more input, and even simple things take more time to process than they used to. Tasks that were once very simple have become increasingly challenging to complete. Tack on top of that multiple roles we play: professional, parent, caregiver, supportive friend or partner. The demands upon us, and the decisions we need to make daily have skyrocketed.

An Example of Overwhelming Options

Years ago, when we went to the grocery store, there was probably just a few types of bread available.

Some of us who grew up in small towns with limited shops may not have had a choice at all.

(It was White Wonder Bread, or nothing).

Today, there is often an entire aisle devoted to bread.

Different types of grains; bread in different shapes and sizes. Lite bread. High Protein bread. Bread that you bake. Bread that you slice. Even bread that you can take to the counter and have sliced for you. The options are almost endless.

In addition to the choices, there’s an abundance of information available about those choices.

We can read the nutritional label while we’re standing there.

We can also use our phones to look up questions we may have about an ingredient or a brand of bread.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that choosing a loaf of bread can take an hour or more, if you let it.

Heck, we could each probably write a dissertation about how to choose a loaf of bread if we were so inclined.

The Bigger Decisions

My description of choosing what bread to buy is an isolated example, and I’ve over emphasized the possible complications to make a point.

Choosing bread is a relatively easy decision to make. Or at least it should be.

But what about other, more important choices, with greater consequences?

• Choosing our health insurance.
• Deciding which car or appliance to buy.
• Choosing a bank, doctor, or financial advisor.
• Deciding whether to change jobs, switch careers, or start our own business.
• How about evaluating different care options when we are ill, or childcare choices for our little ones.

Yes, with an abundance of choices and information, each of these isolated decisions can easily contribute to a case of the overwhelms.

Why It’s Easier Than Ever to Feel Overwhelmed

A few years back, we were all already experiencing information overload.

It was not uncommon for us to feel inundated with choices and information about every potential option available to us for every choice we get to make.

And then 2020 happened. And then 2021. But wait, even more joy in 2022, 2023, and 2024. COVID lingered, the economy tanked, gas prices surged, mortgage interest rates climbed. Oy!

Everything we were dealing with before expanded logarithmically.

Because now every choice we make or have made in the past has to be re-evaluated through today’s lens.

The consequences of some of our choices have increased dramatically.

And in a world where we have become accustomed to having all the information we need at our fingertips – we are somewhat lost.

Although there is a plethora of data, there still is not much information.

There are strong opinions, for sure, about what choices we should all make. But evidence? facts? information? Not so much.

More on Our Shoulders = More Feeling Overwhelmed

In large part, it’s up to us to decide what we choose to believe, which means we’re basically going with our gut a lot more than we’re used to. So, we’ve got more choices, more complexity, more data, and we’re worried about the outcomes of our choices more than ever.

What It Feels Like to Be Overwhelmed

When we feel overwhelmed, it can manifest in a variety of symptoms.

We can experience anxiety, memory lapses and confusion.

It can become difficult to concentrate. Our thoughts may flit from topic to topic.

It can become more challenging than usual to be organized and methodical.

It may even be more difficult to carry on simple conversations and solve basic problems.

All of this creates stress and fatigue, and over time, we begin to feel physically run down as well as being mentally overburdened.

It helps a bit to understand how it feels to be overwhelmed, and why many of us feel that way.

But more than the what and the why behind our augmented stress and feeling of overwhelm, what most of us crave are easy to implement solutions to resolve it.

How can we help ourselves cope when we feel overcome or overwhelmed? Thankfully, there are some practical things we can all do to try to ratchet down the anxiety, worry and fear that can grip us when we feel “as though we’re losing it”.

How To Overcome the “Overwhelms”

If you are experiencing a case of the overwhelms, here are some ideas about how to ease your symptoms. Each suggestion also includes a link to a post where you can read more about this idea:

If your feeling of overwhelm is partly driven by decision making, take practical steps to make decisions easier.

These can include eliminating options, setting a deadline to make a choice, or delegating a certain decision to another qualified person. If being a parent is part of what is making you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to ask for help. For example, hiring a part time babysitter could be exactly what you need to take some of the stress off your plate. You can also eliminate unnecessary decision making in your life to help conserve your energy for the “big ones”. This can be as simple as setting a routine for your day, minimizing your wardrobe choices, or planning meals in advance.

If your feeling of overwhelm is making you feel inadequate, negative, or depressed, give self-compassion a try. 

Think about it like this. If a good friend, or your daughter, or mother, came to you and told you she was feeling overwhelmed, what words would you choose to comfort her? Say those words to yourself. We are all worthy of the same love, kindness, encouragement, and support we give others every day.

If your feeling of overwhelm is triggering feelings of anxiety, try a meditation or other mindfulness practice.

There are so many options. I’ve recently been reading about “Forest Bathing”. And “Grounding” has always been a true comfort to me. Getting in touch with nature, in general, can be wonderful medicine for a case of the overwhelms.

If your feeling of overwhelm is rooted in “wearing too many hats” or managing work-life balance, try to shorten your list. 

One of my favorite strategies for reduced this kind of overload is one described by Randi Zuckerberg in her book: Pick 3.

If your feeling of overwhelm is rooted in overwork, at home or at the office, go have some fun.

• Do something new, something mindless, or call a friend.
• Embark on a pointless drive.
• Sing music you love really loud and don’t worry about who hears you.
• Bust a move, or take a run, or do whatever else gets your blood pumping.

Read this short post for more inspiration about how to rediscover what fun is all about when you’re an overwhelmed adult.

One Last Thought About Feeling Overwhelmed

I’ve had my own chronic case of feeling overwhelmed for years.

Like many or all of us, I find it hard to remember to take care of myself.

This post has helped me realize it’s time to take a break from it all.

I hope it has given you some gentle encouragement, too.

Another helpful perspective?

Anxiety, and related conditions are not a failing in us.

They are a warning system – giving us a heads up that we’re taking on too much – and need to reassess.

Want to learn more? Check out You’re Too Good to Feel This Bad.

Are you feeling overwhelmed?

If you are, please drop a comment and tell us all about it – it may be enough to provide some blessed relief.

After all, we’re all in this together, and we’re all so much more than enough. Thank you as always for reading.

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