Friendships with others (the “family you choose”) are such an important part of our lives. The kindness and support our true friends provide is often essential to our own sense of well-being, comfort, health, and happiness.
Given the significant role they can play in our lives, it’s important to choose our friends and friendships wisely. And part of that may require us to figure out if a friendship is truly a “keeper”.
Today’s post was a joy to write – and it brought back so many fond memories.
I hope it brings a smile to your face, too, as you think about your true friends!
9 Signs of True Friends
I did a post a while ago about “givers” and “takers”. In the end, I concluded that sometimes we need to keep nurturing a friendship or other relationship, even if we’re doing more of the giving. And that sometimes, we may need to let go of a friendship or relationship.
Because we may need to shift our energy elsewhere, into a friendship or relationship where there is more of a balance between “give” and “take”.
Hopefully this situation is the exception more than the rule.
And hopefully we each have more relationships that are different than that.
Friendships where our relationships is truly beautiful, strong, balanced, resilient and mutual; where there is not a person who is predominantly a “giver” or a “taker”.
In these special relationships, we care for someone, and we know that the level of care is reciprocated.
We support her, and she supports us, and somehow, she always knows what to say and how to show us that she loves us.
We seamlessly alternate between giving and taking depending on what we both need, and we get to experience the best of both worlds – the true joy of giving, and the amazing comfort of being given to in a friendship where love and respect are mutual.
This is the most satisfying and fulfilling type of friendship to have.
So, it’s best for us to figure out which of our friendships most closely resemble that ideal; invest energy in them and hold onto these beautiful people super tightly with both hands!
These are the people I call “Keepers”.
So, let’s get into this warm and fuzzy list to end all lists: the 9 signs of true friends!
9 Signs of True Friends
- Your friendship doesn’t require constant nurturing to stay strong. You can be out of touch for months, or years, but distance does nothing to the depth of your bond. No matter how long you’re apart, when you get back together, it feels as though no time has passed. During the times you’re apart, there’s no doubt that you’re still in each other’s thoughts.
- You can respectfully disagree without ever doubting or disrespecting one another or jeopardizing your friendship.
- You know that if you ever truly needed her, she would move heaven and earth to be there. And if she can’t be there, you would understand without question.
- When you’re with her, you laugh. A lot. And maybe cry once in a while, too. I guess what you do is you feel things – whatever emotion you’re experiencing, it’s out there, in the open.
- When you see her unexpectedly, she smiles AND her eyes light up. Many people smile when they see us, but the real feeling shows in the eyes. And there’s no way to fake that, so you know with her it’s 100% real.
- When you have good news, she is as excited about it as you are! Your friendship is peppered with moments when you share joy, and also when you share pain. In both situations, she truly empathizes, and shares joy, comfort, or compassion; whatever you need.
- When she looks at you, reads a text from you, or hears your voice, she can tell right away when something isn’t quite right. She immediately asks if you’re okay and reminds you that she is there for you – whatever you need. Often times no words are even necessary – she can read you like a book.
- She remembers things that are important to you, even if they are things that aren’t important to most people.
- She makes you feel like a rock star, and so lucky to have such a wonderful friendship.
Are you in the mood to send a special friend a quick thank you gift?
It doesn’t have to cost a lot but imagine how it will brighten your day and hers, too.
Buy a Gift for a Special FriendDo you have friends in your life that are truly amazing?
Please comment and share.
Have a great day, with at least some time spent with your “keepers”!
And for ideas about how to make new friends, check out 5 Effective Ways to Find New Friends.
Thank you, as always, for reading.
Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Her career includes 20+ years as a health care executive and 15 years (and counting) as a consultant. The common thread through Joan’s professional life has been a commitment to lead, mentor and coach current and future leaders, and women from all walks of life. KindCompassCoach provides information and advice grounded in Joan’s personal experience; however, all articles are backed by research and provide facts and advice from a wide variety of experts. Joan also serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me.
19 Responses
I’m very lucky to have 3 keepers in my life. Very well written, thank you x
That’s great! Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
Amazing post!! So grateful you gave me the link and this is so inline with the Instagram post I just did this morning!! Love when that happens!! Friends are everything!!!
Have a wonderful day!!
xoxo Michelle
I’m so glad you liked it Michelle – and I’m now signing up for my first ever yoga class – so you inspired me, too! Happy day!
What a lovely post, Joan! I found myself nodding as I read this because I’m very lucky to have a couple of Keepers in my life too. We may not see each other very often but when we do it’s as if time hasn’t passed and we pick up wherever we left off. What you say about eyes lighting up is absolutely spot on! xx
Lisa | http://www.lisasnotebook.com
Lisa, Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts. It is a wonderful thing to have a few “keepers” in our lives!
Joan I like the idea of calling those special people in our lives “keepers” because they way beyond the definition of a friend. Keepers are people devoted to you and rest in unconditional love for the relationship you two have together.
Natonya | http://www.justnatonya.wordpress.com
Thanks so much for reading Natonya!
Wonderful post! The older I get, the more I realize just how important it is to have a tight-knit group of ‘keepers’! It’s not about the quantity, it’s the quality. Very thankful to have my keepers in my life. Thank you so much for sharing, Joan. (:
Such a lovely post Joan. I love all these points and they are definitely the characteristics of an amazing friend. It’s great when you can spend a long time apart from someone and just pick up where you left off. Those kinda people are keepers. Thank you for sharing xx
Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com
Thanks so much Bexa. You are one of my “Twitter Keepers” !!!
I am lucky to have keepers in my life who supported me through many tribulations and a messy escape from an abusive marriage.
Great post!
Thank you so much for reading and commenting Karen! I’m glad to hear you have keepers in your life. We all need them!
This is such a wonderful
Post! I’ve spent a lot of time with people where I don’t feel appreciated, but been told years down the line that they wanted me there. It’s an odd one but I agree with everything you’ve written here x
Awesome post! I think your description of a keeper is great advice to use on how to become a better friend. It’s great to be able to spend some time apart from these people and come back to having as great a relationship as ever.
Megan @ https://pixieskiesblog.wordpress.com xo
Thanks so much for reading and commenting Megan!
Awww! I have a few friends like this, and they are SO precious to me. They’ve been with me for such a long time now, and no way I’d ever want them out of my life.
I still build new friendships, but some aren’t there to stay. That is okay too for me. I always take some lessons out of every person along the way.
Lovely post hun!
Thanks so much for reading and commenting Rose!
Quality over quantity!
Kait| https://www.for-theeverygirl.com