Some researchers believe that our overall happiness level reflects the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. If they are right, there are some clear steps we can easily take to improve our state of mind.  We must begin to pay more attention to who we engage with most often. True, it’s not always 100% within our control. But often, we can make a small change or two that will help pave the way for more smiles. This post shares 5 easy steps to reduce negativity in our lives – no books, major life changes, or therapy required.

How to Reduce Negativity in Your Life

We all have some negative people in our lives.

You know who I mean! These are folks who always seem to see the glass as half empty. When we confide in them, they throw cold water on our aspirations, ideas, and dreams. They discourage us from embarking on new adventures, taking risks, or “going with our gut”. In fact, they actually seem to resent positive things that happen to us.  They may ignore us when things go well; or worse, demonstrate passive aggressive behaviors that may undermine our own confidence and happiness, if we let them.

These folks may not even realize they are doing it; in fact, they probably don’t.

They have negativity inside of them, and their actions are not necessarily conscious.  Like everyone, their thoughts drive their actions. The way they react to those they view as more fortunate has become a habit.  Many appear to have almost forgotten how to be happy. For themselves or for others.

If we have people like this in our lives for a long time, it’s possible we’ve adopted some of their perspectives about life. And maybe even about ourselves – including feeling as though we are more likely to fail than succeed.  Sometimes, after engaging with these people we may even feel unworthy of being happy, fortunate, or loved. This is wrong. We are all worthy of love, happiness, success, fulfillment. In fact, it’s our responsibility to life the most joyous life we can. It’s entirely up to us and within our control to do what we can to protect ourselves from this influence.  So, let’s do something about it!

So here are 5 easy steps to reduce negativity in our lives:

1. Let’s pay attention to our moods and energy level over the next few days and weeks. When we feel particularly low, let’s ask ourselves – was I with someone recently that may have influenced my mind-set? Was there a specific interaction that brought me down?
2. Similarly, when we feel energized, confident, and optimistic, reflect on what happened recently that may have reinforced our positive thinking. Who buoyed us up? Was there someone who made us laugh out loud? When did we feel special, unstoppable, inspiring, and valued?
3. As we identify negative and positive “influencers” in our lives, let’s take action to tip the scale towards positivity.  It’s not always possible to control who we spend time with, but there are situations where we can. We’re not always inclined to do what’s best for us so this might take some effort. But let’s try our best. When we’re about to text or phone a co-worker, family member, or friend – let’s stop. And ask ourselves: how does spending time with this person make me feel? Is he/she someone I should seek out more – or avoid? If this is a negative person in my life, do I need this interaction? Is there someone else who I could work with, or contact, instead? Let’s do our best to minimize interactions with people who are not good for us.  It’s a great step that will help reduce negativity in our lives.
4. Even better, let’s work to replace those interactions with encounters with people who make us smile, support us, nurture us, or love us unconditionally. Let’s find more reasons to spend time with those people. Let’s give them our undivided attention, friendship and kindness when we do. After all, we are awesome. We deserve more of them and they deserve more of us!
5. Let’s make a conscious effort to be one of those people that we want to be around. That’s right: we’re with no one as much we are with ourselves! So, whether it comes naturally or not, give it a shot. Talk to yourself in an encouraging tone. Take Mom’s advice: If you don’t have something nice to say to yourself, don’t say anything at all!

Negative folks in our lives may not be happy as we start to establish boundaries – but that’s okay.

In fact, it’s better than okay. We need to take care of ourselves. And to do that, we need to reduce negativity in our lives, whatever it takes.

What strategies will you use to move your life in a positive direction? Who will you seek out first?  Please comment and tell us about your plans and all the wonderful positive people in your life!

Thank you as always for reading.

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KindCompassCoach

Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Her career includes 20+ years as a health care executive and 15 years (and counting) as a consultant. The common thread through Joan’s professional life has been a commitment to lead, mentor and coach current and future leaders, and women from all walks of life. KindCompassCoach provides information and advice grounded in Joan’s personal experience; however, all articles are backed by research and provide facts and advice from a wide variety of experts. Joan also serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me.