Dark Psychology: The Secrets of Manipulation and More

As you know, KindCompassCoach emphasizes positive psychology approaches. We like to focus on motivation, positive thinking, self-compassion and other constructive elements that help build and reinforce our well-being and personal growth. Unfortunately, a comprehensive and realistic approach to personal development also requires we understand the flip side – what has been come to be known as “dark psychology”.

It’s important we all recognize and be wary of people who exhibit dark traits.

Both for our own good and for the good of those we care about.

We may experience and fall victim to elements of Dark Psychology in every aspect of our lives.

With the rise of social media and technology, it has become easier than ever for bad actors or others with ill intent to manipulate our thinking and in some cases, our behavior through use of dark tactics.

What is Dark Psychology?

The darker side of psychology has a defined scope. Its study encompasses behavioral elements of people who tend to prey on others, especially via emotional manipulation, coercion, mind and behavioral control.

Much of the research identifies three primary components.

Often referred to as “the dark triad“, these include Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy.

Some scientists also include a fourth element: Sadism.

Dark tactics may include many manipulative behaviors, including :

• Gaslighting: a behavior that drives another person to begin to doubt their own thinking or memories.
• Guilt tripping: driving another person to feel guilty for not accommodating another’s wishes.
• Love Bombing: a tactic whereby someone showers another person with an inordinate amount of affection and attention to win their adoration.
• Mind Games: Similar to gaslighting. Other tactics that make someone begin to doubt their own sanity.
• Emotional Blackmail: when someone threatens to harm themselves or another if you don’t do what they want.

Creepy stuff, right?

It’s the dark underbelly of psychology, the part we would all prefer to overlook.

But we can’t. Here’s why you need to keep reading.

Why Is This So Important?

Understanding the psychology of people who prey on others is essential to our own well-being.

People who display dark psychological elements may be quite cunning and clever.

No one likes to be manipulated. Or to be influenced into behaving in ways that don’t serve us.

We can and do resist this type of undue influence when it occurs.

But the power of manipulation exhibited by dark personalities can be so powerful and insidious that victims don’t even realize what is happening.

Until it’s too late.

There are times when we are unduly influenced by benign applications of dark psychology.

For example, social media influencers may use dark tactics to attract followers.

Or manufacturers may use false advertising to influence our buying decisions.

But those same concepts and tactics may influence people to do things that are much more harmful, too.

Think about situations where individuals have been brainwashed into mass suicide. Or influenced to commit other crimes, such as shootings, bombings, or genocide. Chances are, in the examples that came to your mind, there were elements of manipulation or undue influence at play.

Anyone can fall victim to dark psychology.

Today’s dating apps and other social media platforms provide a veritable smorgasbord of opportunities for people who want to prey on others.

Today’s technology also provides a means of cover and an anonymity that can allow us to be influenced by people who we don’t even come into direct contact with.

Now, more than ever, it’s essential that we all be vigilant and be on the lookout for people who seek to manipulate or influence us inappropriately.

The Dark Triad Is Everywhere

It may not surprise you that elements of dark psychology are demonstrated in people from all walks of life. Criminals, Politicians, Car Salespeople, Business Executives and Cult Leaders all use dark tactics to accomplish their own objectives.

What may surprise you?

These same elements are also often used to achieve positive outcomes, too.

• Therapists may use dark tactics to help patients confront difficult memories or realizations. Or to overcome fears or phobias.
• Police may use the same approaches to drive suspects to confess. Or give up more information about their partners in crime.

Dark Psychology Is Prevalent at Home, Too

Elements of dark psychology are also often prevalent in our families. Our romantic relationships. Even our friendships.

The manipulation may sometimes be conscious. But often, people do not even realize they are using dark tactics.

Especially if their behaviors are learned. This can happen as a result of an abusive childhood, narcissistic parents, or other troubled relationships.

Whether the behavior is conscious or unconscious, it’s essential that we recognize it when it occurs. And heighten our own awareness.

Here are some dark personality types and tactics to avoid.

Narcissism

We all probably know someone who we think is a narcissist. The single most tell-tale sign? It’s always about them. No matter what’s happening.

They truly believe they are the center of the universe and everything and everyone they know only exists as an extension of themselves.

Narcissists can be charming and charismatic, in the beginning.

Ultimately, though, their inflated sense of self-importance begins to show.

They have a constant need to be admired and praised by others.

Not surprisingly, it’s not unusual for politicians or celebrities to have some narcissistic qualities.

Machiavellianism

Machiavellians also manipulate others. They tend to be cynical and sarcastic. Some can be cold and calculating.

They are often strategic — but sometimes they are not quite as smart as they think they are, and this can lead them to missteps and discovery.

They often rely on reverse psychology as a primary tactic to influence others.

At times, they may become apathetic regarding ethical issues and may even become intentionally deceitful to achieve their goals.

Machiavellians tend to be cruel and to disregard others.

Psychopathy

We have all seen psychopaths in movies and read about them in books.

It seems as though anyone should be able to spot a psychopath a mile away.

I mean, who didn’t notice that Hannibal Lecter was creepy?

But the reality is, psychopaths can cloak their true identity well.

Psychopaths can be charismatic and inspire people to follow them.

They are experts at manipulation and deception. They can be callous and lack remorse but can also hide these characteristics when it serves them to do so.

Psychopaths are prone to risky and impulsive behavior, and this can be what leads to their downfall.

They are also prone to sudden outbursts of violent behavior.

One thing that sets psychopaths apart: they are completely unable to feel empathy or sympathy for others.

Dark Psychology Tactics

Whether you’re scrolling through a dating app, or listening to the news – be on the lookout for behaviors, speech patterns, or false advertising that feels overpowering.

Opinions presented as information, information not backed up by data, inflammatory quotes or soundbites that incite division and conflict: These are all dark psychology tactics.

When we read articles or see images via the media that polarize us, or generate other extreme emotions or doubts in us, we need to wonder why.

And look deeper, and more carefully to ensure we are truly continuing to own and control our own thoughts.

How to Protect Yourself from Dark Psychology

Reading this post is the first step to protecting yourself from the influences of dark psychology.

Understanding what dark psychology is, and being on the lookout for it, is the key.

If you’re a parent, try to teach your children (with age-appropriate references) what types of behaviors to look out for in strangers, on social media and elsewhere.

Educate them as they mature regarding the risks that dark psychology tactics may pose to them, too.

Another way to protect ourselves is to make an effort to trust ourselves and our own instincts.

When someone or something feels “too good to be true” – chances are, it’s worth a healthy dose of skepticism, and a bit of distance.

If something makes you feel uncomfortable, dig deeper – figure out why.

Last, we can protect ourselves from dark psychology by knowing who our true friends are.

The ones you trust with your live and love.

If at any time you feel as though you’re dealing with a dark personality, confer with others you trust for a gut-check.

Chances are, they will reinforce your instincts, and you will have acted in time to pull back from what might be a problematic relationship.

Want to Read More About Dark Psychology?

The study of dark psychology is disturbing and unpleasant, but also important. If you would like to read more about it, please drop a comment and let us know.

Thank you, as always, for reading.