Stop Right There! How to Resist the Inference Ladder

Some days, our thoughts seem to have a mind of their own, so to speak.  We can know in our hearts and brains that positive thinking is better for us.  In fact, we can train our thoughts to improve our happiness. Yet often, our minds wander to the worst possible outcome, explanation, or assumption. We jump to conclusions, and before we know it – our thoughts have made us quite unhappy, whether or not we have reason to be. Sometimes we kind of make stuff up. We have a small piece of information, but then we make assumptions, and wind up with faulty conclusions. This is sometimes called “going up the inference ladder.”

The Inference Ladder

Here’s what it looks and feels like to go up the Inference Ladder:

  • The tone of that e-mail from my boss was strange – next thought: maybe I’m going to get fired.
  • My partner seemed distracted – next thought: maybe he or she is going to end our relationship.
  • I accidentally knocked over a glass – next thought: I must be the clumsiest person in the world.

When we read these reactions to small events it seems obvious that they are blown out of proportion.

But when we dwell on the low points of our days long enough, anything can seem possible.  So, it’s really important that we train ourselves to be our own “thought police”. And that we all do our best to guide our minds towards thoughts that will help us find happiness.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s important to trust our gut in many situations, and not second guess our reactions too much. But it’s equally important to know when our instincts and natural tendencies may be leading us astray.  This can happen with thoughts about ourselves or others.

Let’s get back to the “inference ladder.”

Something happens, and we infer something else from it.  For example: someone shows up to work looking disheveled.  We infer an explanation.  Perhaps we surmise they were up all night.  From there we fabricate reasons for why they were up all night.  Next thing you know we’ve inferred that someone was out all night doing something questionable.  When it’s possible they were just unable to sleep. Or they were at a sick loved one’s bedside.

As children, when we are taught to read, we are encouraged to infer what may happen next in a story.

But in our lives, we need to exercise some restraint.

Because the inference ladder is dangerous. We can go up one or two or three rungs without even realizing it.

We can begin to share our inferences with others as truths.

This is how rumors gets started. Equally treacherous is going up the inference ladder in our own minds about ourselves:  I messed up that simple recipe – next thought: I must be a moron!

Do you ever find yourself “going up the inference ladder”?

Whether it be about yourself or someone else, here are some questions to consider if you notice this happening:

  • What is the evidence this is true?
  • What is the evidence that this may not be true?
  • Is there an alternative explanation that is more plausible?
  • If my friend were in this situation, what would I think the explanation was?
  • Are there other possibilities for why someone behaved the way they did?
  • What are the chances that the worst will happen?
  • What else could happen instead?
  • Am I trying to read someone else’s mind?
  • Can I control what will happen?
  • Am I being too hard on myself or someone else?
  • How is my thinking effecting my life?
  • What are other reasonable explanations for what has happened?

“Thought Police” generally has a negative connotation – but in this case, I think of our thought police as being superheroes.

I like to picture personal thought guards (kind of like bodyguards, except they are protecting our minds!) swooping in to save the day when we find ourselves teetering at the top of an inference ladder.

Armed with sensible questions, they can help us descend, one rung at a time, to safer and firmer ground.  So, let’s avoid the inference ladder and try to guide our thoughts to happiness today.

Thank you as always for reading.

If you haven’t yet subscribed, please visit KindCompassCoach and enter your email address so you never miss a post.


Discover more from KINDCOMPASSCOACH LIFE COACHING

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Categories:

No Responses

Please share your thoughts!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Are Your Experiencing a Mental Health Crisis? Know That You Need Never Be Alone.

Call or text 988

Did You Miss the FREE Self-Esteem Series? No worries! Start With the Link Below

Find What You Need Most Quickly by Clicking the Tags Below!

Sixty and Me Contributor Badge
Come Follow Us On Twitter, too!

Testimonials: Love for KindCompassCoach

"In a world that is becoming increasingly polarized, separating into ‘us’ and ‘them’ far too often, KindCompassCoach is a lighthouse for those seeking a port in the storm. Joan writes straight from her heart using her wealth of knowledge to inspire, encourage, and offer kindness to each and every reader. I love that each post challenges me to consider how I can take the wisdom offered and practice it with intention. Those of us seeking truth and guidance, find it in every single KindCompassCoach post. From how to incorporate mindfulness to accessing our bank of positive memories during times of grief or struggle, Joan encourages her readers with unconditional understanding and compassion. This blog is a gem to be enjoyed and shared!"

Cathy Tubb, This Little Light

We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners. View more
Cookies settings
Accept
Privacy & Cookie policy
Privacy & Cookies policy
Cookie name Active
Life Coaching Sunrise Logo and Kind Compass Coach

Who we are

Comments

Media

Cookies

Embedded content from other websites

Who we share your data with

How long we retain your data

This is so we can recognize and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue.

For users that register on our website (if any), we also store the personal information they provide in their user profile.

All users can see, edit, or delete their personal information at any time (except they cannot change their username). Website administrators can also see and edit that information.

What rights you have over your data

Where your data is sent

Save settings
Cookies settings

Discover more from KINDCOMPASSCOACH LIFE COACHING

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading