How to Explode Your Personal Energy Beyond Your Dreams

Welcome to How to Find Happiness, Lesson 2. How to Explore Your Personal Energy Beyond Your Dreams.

In Lesson 1, we focused on 5 key segments of well-being that contribute to a contented life. The exercises we did helped us understand areas of our lives where we are doing well, and other areas that may warrant our attention and focus. Since change can be difficult and challenging, a prudent second step is to ensure we have adequate energy available to channel into this effort. And ample stamina to do what we know is good for us, once we figure out what that is.

So, in Lesson 2, we focus on understanding our own personal energy, and what it takes to restore it and maintain it.

Specific questions we will tackle include:

• Do we have enough of the four types of energy?
• What contributes to our inventory of each kind of energy?
• What depletes them?
• How can we get our energy supply where it needs to be to fuel our journey towards a contented and happy life?

How to Find Happiness: How to Explode Your Energy Beyond Your Dreams

Let’s just say it up front, thinking about our energy levels can be exhausting.

We question why we seem unable to keep up with our contemporaries and wonder at our aches and pains.

No matter how long we perform and push on, we berate ourselves when we succumb to fatigue.

We feel overwhelmed.

Despite all the challenges we meet every day, we scold ourselves mercilessly for not being able to get it all done.

We yearn for a vacation, because we think that may be the cure.

But even after taking one, we still often come up empty when we dig deep for the stamina we crave.

We and everyone around us, it seems, complain about how tired we are, almost every day.

Does all this sound familiar?

I’m guessing many of us can relate.

Before we embark on a road trip, most of us stop at a service station to fill up the gas tank.

This adventure we’re about to embark on is no different.

So, this week, let’s answer some important questions, together:

• Do we have a full supply of fuel?
• Do we have a plan for rest stops along the way?
• What will rejuvenate us, when we need refreshment?
• How can we get the most mileage out of the fuel we have available?

How To Think About Your Personal Energy

More often than not, we may be our own worst enemy when it comes to rejuvenating ourselves. As described above, for most of us, it starts with how we think.

But imagine if we deployed our inner dialogue to lift ourselves up rather than to shout ourselves down. Instead of staring at a to-do list and berating ourselves for not checking everything off, what if we motivated ourselves to get things done that are important to us, instead?

Acknowledging, “I feel low on energy right now” is different from “I’m useless and lazy”.

One is a statement of how we feel at a given moment, while the other is a degrading label. The first gives a starting point in the present moment that may have a simple fix. The second labels our character as flawed, a state that clouds our future potential.

These negative thoughts don’t serve us.

And if we are not serving ourselves, we are not bringing our best self to others.

So, for starters, when we feel tired, worn out, and empty, let’s remind ourselves to acknowledge how we feel in the moment.

But to also take care not to label ourselves as tired, worn out, empty people. Because we’re not.

We are normal humans who require a steady supply of nourishment, rest and stimulation to produce the energy our bodies and minds require.

If you find you are berating yourself for being a tired person, guide your thoughts back to more positive sentiments.

Positive Affirmations About Energy

Next, after banishing those negative thoughts, let’s add some positive ones to the mix. Sometimes all it takes to restore our energy is to change our internal dialogue.

So, moving forward, let’s commit to start the day with a positive affirmation or two.

We can say them silently, out loud, into the mirror, whatever we are each comfortable with. Don’t take this too seriously but do give it a go. It sounds corny, but it truly makes a difference. If it only provides a moment to grin at ourselves, that is enough!

Here are some potential affirmations to try:

• I am energetic and joyful.
• I have boundless enthusiasm.
• Tonight, I will sleep soundly and restfully. I will awake more refreshed than ever.
• I’m going to accomplish something important today.
• I’m grateful for my strong, healthy body. Knowing I am healthy makes me happy and content.

Okay. So now that we’ve got our heads in the right space, and are tapping into the power of our thoughts, it’s time to dive in. Understanding the different types of energy we need is a great place to begin.

Four Kinds of Energy

Years ago, an insightful teacher helped me understand that there were different types of energy, and a result, there was more than one potential cure for fatigue.

In fact, she taught our class that in many cases what we thought was the best remedy (sleeping, or just behaving like a “couch potato”) was actually many times the worst thing we could do when we feel exhausted.

She taught us that there are 4 different kinds of energy.

When we feel fatigue, we need to identify which kind of energy we are running low on.

Once we do, we’re much more likely to choose the best way to top off the tank.

Physical Energy

The first type is physical energy. Training hard, doing physical labor, not getting enough sleep or sitting still too long depletes physical energy. Sleep can sometimes be the answer, but if we are getting 7+ hours regularly, more sleep is probably not going to help our energy level.

More often, the cure may be movement.

Working at a desk for hours makes us physically tired.

We crave a nap, but the best answer is actually to take a walk.

If it’s raining, do the stairs a few times, or light exercises like jumping jacks or a few yoga poses.

If you really do need more sleep, give yourself the rest you deserve and require before you attempt to take on any new challenges.

Mental Energy

The second type of energy is mental energy. We drain mental energy when we focus on one task or perform critical thinking too long. Believe it or not, our mental energy also gets depleted when we become bored.

To replenish mental energy, we need to do something different.

Break away from the task at hand and allow that part of our brain to rest. Drive a different way to the store. Visit a new town or part of the office. Read about a topic we know nothing about. Work on a crossword or jigsaw puzzle.

The feeling of mastery that comes from completing something like this can spark our energy.

Have you been working hard on an analytical task recently? Focused on financial issues or working on your taxes? Or perhaps you have a technical occupation that requires you to read and learn new information all day. Or maybe you’ve been trying to acquire a new skill.

If these types of tasks are the sources of your fatigue, taking a break is often just the ticket.

Find something mindless to do and love every minute.

For me, this is when Netflix binging is the cure my body craves!

Emotional Energy

The third kind of energy is emotional energy. We exhaust emotional energy when we struggle with relationship, caretaking or parenting issues or, especially, when we suffer loss.

It’s especially important to be kind to ourselves at times like these.

When faced with this form of exhaustion, it may be helpful to remember that we can only control one thing: ourselves.

If you are having relationship challenges, it’s time to focus on what you can do to improve the relationship.

We can change the way we handle relationship challenges, change the way we think about them, or we can choose to start or end a relationship.

But we can’t change a person who we are in a relationship with.

We must kindly remind ourselves to stop trying to do so and eliminate a large drain on our emotional energy.

When we suffered loss, it is of course natural to grieve, however long we need to.

But when we have trouble moving on and feel as though it may be time for that, it helpful to think through unresolved issues we may have had with the person we lost.

Were there things you wish you had said? Do you have regrets about things that happened?

We can’t change the past – but we can seek professional support to work through how we think about it.

If these are the types of issues draining your energy, remember again, we must not try to resolve things beyond our control.

How To Restore Emotional Energy

What should we do to restore emotional energy?

Direct our efforts into connecting with those that matter most in our lives.

An email exchange, phone call or visit with someone who knows and loves us may provide the comfort we need to restore our emotional energy.

If one connection doesn’t do the trick, increase the dosage. As many times as needed.

This can be one of the most difficult types of energy to restore. It may take longer, too.

Inventory your support systems.

Do you have people to turn to, who can help you feel the compassion you are craving?

How can you nurture your own ability to feel self-compassion when you need it most?

Alternatively, switching gears to a physical or mental activity may also break the pattern and renew your emotional reserves at the same time.

Spiritual Energy

Last, but not least, is spiritual energy. There are several situations that often drain of our spiritual energy.

We may feel low on spiritual energy when we feel disconnected from our purpose and our values.

If our daily activity is disconnected from causes, issues or organizations important to us, we may feel empty in a way that is difficult to diagnose.

A life that appears rich on the surface may not be meeting our spiritual needs.

Fortunately, there are many potential remedies for this type of spiritual energy deficiency.

Spending time uncovering our true gifts, interests, and skills can help us identify our true-life purpose.

Doing this is often a way to discover inspiration and a passion that will set our very soul on fire.

Once we do this, aligning our activity to this passion virtually guarantees a lifelong supply of spiritual energy.

(This is so essential to happiness and contentment that we will spend all our time exploring this topic during Week 4: What is My Life Purpose? Answers to the Most Important Question in Life.

On the flip side, spiritual energy can also feel drained when we devote TOO MUCH time and passion to a cause.

Raising money for a charity, being a caregiver, volunteering or working in a long-term effort like a campaign can leave us needing a restorative activity.

The cure for this type of energy drain is often to do something mindless, or something that has no purpose. See a movie, watch a comedian, play with a dog or other pet. Give yourself this kind of break and a pat on the back for being devoted to something so important.

Other Causes of Fatigue

Not everything falls neatly into these 4 categories of energy.

For example, one common source of fatigue is when we take on responsibility or worry too much about things that are a little “outside of our lane”.

An old Polish proverb says: “Not my circus. Not my monkeys”. Wise words.

We are each one person.

We must cherish that person and honor our bodies and souls.

Taking on too much can be bad for us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Too often, we almost seem to take a sense of pride in the ways we overextend ourselves. But it’s time we be honest with ourselves, and maybe embrace an alternative point of view. Or at least give it a chance.

Taking on worries and responsibilities that are not our own is a bit self-serving.

We’re here to fulfill a purpose; our job is to figure out what it is.

If we burn out trying to fix everything, we serve no one. And other people are strong, too.

We limit their growth by continuing to do the heavy lifting, instead of stepping back into a teaching or supporting role.

So, take a step back from now on. Let everyone else fix their own stuff!

Self-Compassion Is Also Key

It’s helpful to be clear about what type of energy needs to be restored, and then to do what’s best to help rejuvenate ourselves.

It’s also essential to do those things without guilt.

We deserve whatever it takes to replenish ourselves.

If it helps, think about it this way: taking care of ourselves will benefit us but also all those around us, too.

Let’s Wrap It Up

The table below includes questions to help you process the information we’ve just discussed about your personal energy.

Pull out your notebook and review your notes from last week.

• Which areas of well-being did you decide you need to focus on?

• What kind of energy do you need most to pursue the goal of improving your happiness in those areas?

After thinking through the four types of energy described in today’s post, do you feel like there’s a specific kind of energy you need to restore? Which one?

What can you do to help recover?

See below for thought prompts that may help you better understand your energy needs and priorities.

Which type of energy do I have in good supply?	Which type of energy Do I most need to restore?
What helps me maintain my energy in this area?	What are three things I can do this week to help meet my needs in this area?
How can I be sure to hold the gains in these areas?	How will I know if my actions are helping?
Are there things I should do more often to maintain my energy levels in this area?	Who would be an ally to me in addressing my needs in this area?
How can I express my gratitude for my areas of high energy?	Are there obstacles I need to plan for?
What affirmations related to my areas of strength best motivate me to start my day?	Are there resources I can tap into? A community group or books to read?
How can I put my plentiful energy stores to good use?	Would it help me make progress to work on this area of my life with a partner or friend?

So, what did you think about Lesson 2?

Do you know more about the state of your own energy reserves?

Have a few ideas that may help you jump start your personal battery and overcome fatigue?

Please leave a comment and share what you are learning with all the rest of us.

After all, we are all on this journey together – and we are all so much more than enough.

In Lesson 3, we’re going to cover an essential topic to well-being, and one that is more complex than you might think: The Science of Happiness: How to Live Your Best Life.

Thank you, as always, for reading.

If you haven’t yet subscribed, please visit KindCompassCoach and enter your email address so you never miss a post.