Overly Controlling Partner? How to Spot a Toxic Relationship

In some relationships, one partner may exhibit controlling behavior that can have a detrimental impact on the dynamic and the well-being of both people involved. Understanding what causes a person to become overly controlling can help shed light on this unhealthy behavior and potentially facilitate paths towards change and growth.

What Makes a Person Overly Controlling?

One of the most common factors that leads to controlling behavior is deep-seated insecurity and low self-esteem.

Controlling people may use domination and control as a means to feel more secure and validated.

Their sense of self-worth may be reliant on having control over their partner’s actions and choices, as it provides them with a false sense of power and validation.

By manipulating their partner’s behavior, they hope to alleviate their own anxieties and maintain a sense of security.

Learn How to Recognize Signs of Toxic Relationships

Other Common Causes of Controlling Behaviors

Some of the other most common causes of controlling behaviors include:

  • People who have a fear of abandonment may resort to controlling behavior. Their fear drives them to tightly control their partner’s actions and interactions, hoping to prevent them from leaving.
  • Some people have an inherent need for power and control in all aspects of their lives. They view relationships as opportunities to exert dominance and enforce their will. This need for power and control often stems from deep-rooted personality traits or a desire to compensate for feelings of inadequacy.
  • People who are controlling may have a low tolerance for uncertainty. They may crave predictability and security, leading them to tightly manage their partner’s actions and decisions.
  • Controlling behavior can also be a learned behavior, often the result of growing up in an environment where control and manipulation were prevalent. If people witnessed controlling patterns in their parents, they may adopt similar behaviors. These experiences shape their understanding of what constitutes a “normal” relationship and can perpetuate controlling tendencies. Learned behavior can be deeply ingrained and challenging to unlearn without conscious effort and intervention.
  • People who lack trust in their partner may resort to controlling tactics as a means of ensuring their loyalty and commitment. They may constantly monitor their partner’s activities, invade their privacy, and question their every move. This behavior stems from a fear of betrayal and a need to protect themselves from potential harm. It is not necessarily rooted in any legitimate betrayal or action of the spouse or partner.

Less Common Drivers of Controlling Behavior

In some cases, people with specific personality disorders, such as narcissistic personality disorder or obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, may display controlling tendencies.

These disorders can influence the way they perceive and interact with others, leading to controlling behavior as a means of maintaining power and dominance.

Past traumatic experiences, such as emotional or physical abuse, can also contribute to controlling behavior.

Those who have experienced trauma may develop controlling behaviors as a way to protect themselves from further harm.

Or as a response to feeling helpless or out of control.

Their need for control is a defense mechanism to potentially prevent future trauma from occurring.

To mitigate these fears, they resort to controlling their partner’s actions and choices, creating a false sense of security.

What Makes a Person Overly Controlling?

The causes listed above offer insights into some of what makes a person overly controlling. However, it’s important to note that each person is unique. And factors contributing to controlling behavior may vary. That’s why it is essential to approach each situation with empathy.

Understanding the underlying reasons behind controlling behavior is key for fostering healthier dynamics.

By recognizing and addressing underlying issues, partners may be able to work towards developing relationships built on trust, respect, and open communication.

Fostering a healthy relationship means supporting each other as individuals, respecting boundaries, and cultivating trust.

It’s essential to promote equality and open dialogue to ensure a relationship is based on mutual love and understanding rather than control and dominance.

If you believe you’re in a troubled relationship, please also read: How to Escape a Controlling Spouse Before It’s Too Late.

Thank you as always for reading.

If you haven’t yet subscribed, please visit KindCompassCoach and enter your email address so you never miss a post. 

As Amazon Associates, we may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) for items purchased through links in this post.


Discover more from KINDCOMPASSCOACH LIFE COACHING

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Categories:

No Responses

Please share your thoughts!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Are Your Experiencing a Mental Health Crisis? Know That You Need Never Be Alone.

Call or text 988

Did You Miss the FREE Self-Esteem Series? No worries! Start With the Link Below

Find What You Need Most Quickly by Clicking the Tags Below!

Sixty and Me Contributor Badge
Come Follow Us On Twitter, too!

Testimonials: Love for KindCompassCoach

"In a world that is becoming increasingly polarized, separating into ‘us’ and ‘them’ far too often, KindCompassCoach is a lighthouse for those seeking a port in the storm. Joan writes straight from her heart using her wealth of knowledge to inspire, encourage, and offer kindness to each and every reader. I love that each post challenges me to consider how I can take the wisdom offered and practice it with intention. Those of us seeking truth and guidance, find it in every single KindCompassCoach post. From how to incorporate mindfulness to accessing our bank of positive memories during times of grief or struggle, Joan encourages her readers with unconditional understanding and compassion. This blog is a gem to be enjoyed and shared!"

Cathy Tubb, This Little Light

We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners. View more
Cookies settings
Accept
Privacy & Cookie policy
Privacy & Cookies policy
Cookie name Active
Life Coaching Sunrise Logo and Kind Compass Coach

Who we are

Comments

Media

Cookies

Embedded content from other websites

Who we share your data with

How long we retain your data

This is so we can recognize and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue.

For users that register on our website (if any), we also store the personal information they provide in their user profile.

All users can see, edit, or delete their personal information at any time (except they cannot change their username). Website administrators can also see and edit that information.

What rights you have over your data

Where your data is sent

Save settings
Cookies settings

Discover more from KINDCOMPASSCOACH LIFE COACHING

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading