Work-Life Balance: How to Get Over It Now and Thrive

You read that correctly. There’s no denying, having work-life balance can be important to happiness and well-being.

But I’ve never liked the term “work-life balance” or the things that phrase implies. It makes it sound like we only live when we are not working.

And that work is not an integral part of our existence, our livelihood.

Now, more than ever, it’s time to stop pursuing this imaginary world where work and life fit into two neat, separate parts of our existence.

How and Why to Stop Pursuing “Work-Life Balance“

Today, more than ever before, the lines between life and work are blurred, for many of us.

Even in careers where stark lines delineate work from life, it would be a shame if the people honoring those professions only thrived when they were not working.

The term “work-life balance” also implies a need to vigilantly monitor two separate, distinct parts of our lives to ensure they don’t get out of equilibrium.

That sounds so difficult. Like a grain of sand on one side or the other would make things crash to the ground. So, let’s make it a little easier on ourselves.

Let’s stop perpetuating the notion that we need to achieve this sensitive, elusive thing called “work-life balance“.

And let’s agree that things won’t be smashed out of whack due to a single weekend on the job or a single day spent daydreaming.

Real Life Doesn’t Fit with the Concept of Work-Life Balance

We need to get real and accept that our lives are a messy, hectic, mixed-up sequence of events.

And stop trying to jam life into two artificially differentiating slices.

Accept that we sometimes must take a work call while we clean up dog puke; or hit the mute and turn the camera off to change a diaper.

Or find a quiet place on business travel to facetime and sing our children to sleep.

We may need to work while sitting at a sick parent’s bed side.

And, regrettably, we may need to miss a child’s championship game, because Grandpa fell down the stairs.

This is life. And it does not need or require balance and clear lines to be beautiful.

Finding Joy in All Aspects of Life

We must endeavor to find joy in it all: not just the slice that we choose to call “life”.

There is no fix and no need for a fix. We do the best we can.

But there is something we can and should change.

We can change how we talk to ourselves in these situations.

Some say we need to forgive ourselves when we find we are not able to do it all.

But my hope for us is that we can skip over the whole blame and forgiveness part.

How about we aim to have acceptance be the first and only feeling we have when we are put in these difficult circumstances?

We Must Find Self-Compassion when Work-Life Balance Eludes Us

Would you blame a friend if she couldn’t make it to your birthday party because her child was sick, and then forgive her afterwards? No.

You would understand her need to be with her child, and there would be no blame or forgiveness involved.

Can we try to be as understanding to ourselves?

More than just helping us to feel better, embracing self-compassion helps us to become more resilient.

Stronger in the face of challenges, and more able to bounce back when things don’t go as well as we hoped.

So, let’s cultivate an environment where we are more compassionate with ourselves and others.

This will help us all feel better, heal faster, and accept one another more readily. We need to do this.

And work-life balance be damned – let’s love every minute we are being ourselves.

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Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach.  Joan’s career includes clinical healthcare plus 20+ years as an executive in a nationwide health care system and 15 years as a consultant. The common threads throughout Joan’s personal and professional life are a commitment to non-profit organizations, mental health, compassionate coaching, professional development and servant leadership. Joan has had the privilege of mentoring early and mid-career professionals as well as current and future executives and leaders. She is a member of the International Organization of Life Coaches, serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is also a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me. You can read more about Joan here: Joan Senio.