Do you suffer from “comparisonitis”? It’s a difficult ailment to overcome. It’s easy to fall into the habit of making comparisons, especially comparing ourselves to others. We can find ourselves doing this related to family issues, finances, accomplishments, appearance; the list goes on and on.
We may compare how popular we are to others, and also wonder what others think of us, compared to others.
Comparisonitis: Why We Compare Ourselves to Others
Unfortunately, we just seem to have a natural tendency to measure our own circumstances against those around us.
And when we make comparisons, we often find ourselves lacking.
This creates negative thoughts which often show up in the form of negative self-talk – that beast that we all struggle to tame.
When we go down this road, we often tend to exaggerate the positive circumstances of others. This fuels the fire of comparisonitis.
For example, we may make comparisons between ourselves and a peer, or neighbor, or friend.
Since she’s extremely fit or seems to have an awesome marriage (to our uninformed eye), we assume that her whole life must be amazing.
Perhaps we observe another who seems to have all the material possessions a person could wish for.
We imagine that abundance extends to all aspects of her life, too.
Regardless of the specifics of the comparisons we make, rarely do we come out feeling better. And our comparisonitis can become truly devastating.
There is one situation where comparisons seem to have a good impact on us, however.
When we compare ourselves to others less fortunate, we tend to feel better about our own situation.
This feels kind of uncomfortable, doesn’t it?
It does seem right that we feel better when we make comparisons that require us to spend time reflecting on other’s hardships.
But here’s the saving grace. There is a good result of this practice (called “downward comparison” by scientists).
The more we make downward comparisons, the more inclined we become to offer a helping hand or volunteer to assist those less fortunate than us.
And the more compassionate we become. As an added bonus, we also become more cognizant and appreciative of our own blessings.
So next time comparisonitis strikes, let’s redirect our focus to those who truly need our attention.
Then let’s try harder to take an action, no matter how small, to help. We will feel better, and positive thoughts will replace negative ones.
If we are lucky and intentional in our follow through, the world will become a brighter place, one kind act at a time.
And we all deserve to live in a brighter, better world. Please comment, share, like this post.
Thank you as always for reading.
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Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Her career includes 20+ years as a private sector corporate executive and 15 years (and counting) as a consultant and coach. The common thread through her professional life has been a commitment to compassionate leadership, including leading and mentoring current and future leaders, and women from all walks of life. KindCompassCoach articles are backed by research and include facts and advice from a wide variety of experts. Joan is a member of the International Organization of Life Coaches, serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me.
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