To observe Annual Boost Self-Esteem Month Kindness-Compassion-and-Coaching.com published a series of posts about this intriguing subject. If you would like to read the series from the beginning, please start with this piece: Self-Esteem: What You Need to Know and Secrets Revealed. Today’s post covers how we can cultivate self-compassion that survives devastating times.
“You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise Hay
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How to Cultivate Self-Compassion That Lasts
During challenging times, it can be easy to be hard on ourselves, criticize our actions, and spiral into self-doubt. Self-compassion can be a powerful tool to help us build resilience and maintain overall well-being, even when we are faced with setbacks, challenges or outright tragedy. Making a commitment to cultivate self-compassion can provide us ever-ready shelter from storms of sadness, loneliness, hardship, and loss.
If we think about self-compassion as a protective cloak we can don (or share with others) at a moment’s notice, it can help us to remember why devoting ourselves to self-compassion serves not only us, but those around us, too. Because our loved ones benefit and learn from our example as we build our own strength and resilience.
Lasting self-compassion can help us to be strong and survive during tough times, and navigate adversity with greater kindness, understanding, and resilience.
How to Cultivate Self-Compassion
Understanding the significance of self-compassion during tough times is the first step towards building lasting self-compassion.
Recognize that self-compassion is not a sign of weakness or self-indulgence but rather an essential practice that promotes emotional well-being, self-acceptance, and growth.
Practice Mindfulness to Cultivate Self-Compassion
Mindfulness is another fundamental component of creating an environment where self-compassion will thrive.
By bringing awareness to our thoughts and emotions without judgment, we create space for self-compassion to flourish.
Mindfulness allows us to observe our pain and suffering with kindness and understanding, acknowledging our own humanity and imperfections.
Challenge Self-Critical Thoughts
During tough times, self-critical thoughts can become overwhelming.
Challenge these thoughts by questioning their validity and considering alternative perspectives.
Replace negative self-talk with compassionate and encouraging thoughts.
Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would give to a supportive friend.
Don’t Forget Self-Care
Self-compassion goes hand in hand with self-care.
Prioritize activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Engage in practices that bring you joy, relaxation, and rejuvenation.
Whether it’s taking a warm bath, practicing yoga, reading a good book, or spending time in nature, self-care replenishes your energy and helps build resilience.
Seek Support and Connection
During tough times, seeking support and connection from loved ones or support groups can be invaluable.
Share your struggles and fears with trusted people who can provide empathy, understanding, and encouragement.
Connecting with others who have had similar experiences can remind you that you are not alone in your journey.
Cultivate Self-Compassion through Positive Self-Talk
Monitor your self-talk and reframe negative or self-critical thoughts with self-compassionate language.
Acknowledge your pain, hardships, and mistakes with kindness and understanding.
Remind yourself that setbacks and challenges are a normal part of life and an opportunity for growth and learning.
Foster a Growth Mindset
Developing a growth mindset can contribute to lasting self-compassion during tough times.
Believe that challenges and failures are opportunities for learning and personal development.
View setbacks as steppingstones towards growth and resilience, rather than as reflections of your self-worth.
Stay Present and Grounded
Practicing presence and grounding techniques can help you stay centered during tough times.
Engage in deep breathing exercises, meditation, or mindfulness practices to anchor yourself in the present moment.
This can help alleviate anxiety and overwhelm, allowing space for self-compassion to thrive.
How to Cultivate Self-Compassion That Lasts Through Challenging Times
As you work to cultivate self-compassion that will survive difficult times, you will begin to experience a strengthening of your own resilience and emotional well-being.
Self-compassion is a lifelong journey, and by nurturing it during tough times, we can emerge stronger, wiser, and more compassionate and supportive towards ourselves and others.
If you’re ready to move onto the next post in the self-esteem series, it’s ready for you:
How to Practice Self-Compassion: 8 Easy Steps to Healing.
Thank you as always for reading.
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Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Her career includes 20+ years as a private sector corporate executive and 15 years (and counting) as a consultant and coach. The common thread through her professional life has been a commitment to compassionate leadership, including leading and mentoring current and future leaders, and women from all walks of life. KindCompassCoach articles are backed by research and include facts and advice from a wide variety of experts. Joan is a member of the International Organization of Life Coaches, serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me.
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