To observe Annual Boost Self-Esteem Month, Kindness-Compassion-and-Coaching.com published a series of posts about this intriguing subject. (If you would like to read the series from the beginning, please start with this piece: Self-Esteem: What You Need to Know and Secrets Revealed.) Self-discovery plays a vital role in any effort to assess our self-esteem, or to improve it. Today’s post focuses on self-discovery in relationships.
What is Self-Discovery?
Self-discovery is the process of understanding our own emotions, needs, and values. When we know ourselves better, we understand our own needs and desires more fully. This allows us to communicate them more effectively. When both partners in a relationship are self-aware, they can support each other’s growth and do a more effective job of meeting each other’s needs. This leads to a much more fulfilling relationship. For these reasons and many more, self-discovery in relationships is important.
Self-Discovery in Relationships
There are many benefits to investing energy into self-discovery in relationships.
Some of the most important include:
- Better Communication: Knowing ourselves better helps us communicate better. When we’re clear about our needs and values, we can express ourselves more effectively. This leads to more productive conversations and fewer misunderstandings. Heightened awareness about needs in a relationship also extends to better listening and understanding of our partner’s needs, too.
- Healthier Choices: Self-discovery in relationships helps us identify our own patterns and behaviors. This awareness allows us to make healthier choices for ourselves and our relationships. It helps us to recognize when we need to set boundaries, or when we need to compromise.
- Stronger Relationships: When both partners are committed to self-discovery in relationships, they can support each other’s growth much more effectively. This means they can hold each other accountable and help each other become the best versions of themselves. This leads to a stronger, more fulfilling relationship for both partners.
How to Practice Self-Discovery in Relationships
How can we go about practicing self-discovery in relationships? There are many ways, but here are a few of the most important:
- Reflect on Your Own Needs and Values: Take some time to reflect on your own needs and values. What is important to you in a relationship? What are your deal breakers? When you are clear on your own needs, you can communicate them more effectively to your partner. This helps create a firm foundation for your relationship, builds trust, and ensures your expectations are in alignment with your partners.
- Ask for Feedback: Another aspect of self-discovery in relationships involves asking your partner for feedback on your behavior. How do they see you? Are there any patterns or behaviors you need to work on? This feedback can help you identify areas for growth. Important: welcome the feedback when it comes! It takes practice to deliver feedback constructively – so some of it may be hard to hear at first. Nevertheless, it’s important. View any feedback you receive as a gift and do your best to embrace the intent of it, which is to nurture your relationship and help you be your best self.
- Be Open to Change: Self-discovery in relationships takes time, and it can be uncomfortable. But it is essential for growth. Sometimes it will take a while to adapt so be prepared to hang in there for a bit. Be open to change and be willing to take risks. Embrace the discomfort and trust the process.
Self-Discovery in Relationships: The Takeaway
Self-discovery in relationships is important to ensure we understand our needs and wants, are able to effectively communicate them, and also understand our partners needs and wants, too.
When both partners are committed to self-discovery, self-awareness and growth, they can build a more fulfilling relationship.
Give it a try. Do some self-reflection, volunteer what you discover to your partner.
Ask your partner directly, what do they need or want in the relationship?
Their answers may surprise you, and your relationship will thank you.
Want more like this?
Check out: 7 Signs of A Soulmate: How to Know You’ve Found Yours.
If you’re ready for the next post in the self-esteem series, it’s here for you:
How to be Appropriately Assertive in Relationships.
Additional Self-Discovery Resources
To explore an amazing collection of self-discovery and personal development resources, check out: Best Self-Help Books and Blogs for Women.
Thank you as always for reading.
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Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Joan’s career includes clinical healthcare plus 20+ years as an executive in a nationwide health care system and 15 years as a consultant. The common threads throughout Joan’s personal and professional life are a commitment to non-profit organizations, mental health, compassionate coaching, professional development and servant leadership. Joan has had the privilege of mentoring early and mid-career professionals as well as current and future executives and leaders. She is a member of the International Organization of Life Coaches, serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is also a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me. You can read more about Joan here: Joan Senio.
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