Signs of a Controlling Spouse: How to Know It’s a Problem

In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel equal, respected, and free to express themselves. However, in some cases, one partner may exhibit controlling behavior that can have a detrimental impact on the relationship and the well-being of the other person involved. Living with a controlling spouse can be challenging and emotionally draining. It is important to recognize the signs of a controlling spouse so that you may take appropriate action to restore a healthy, balanced relationship – or make other choices to regain your freedom and independence.

How to Know You Have a Controlling Spouse

When we refer to a “controlling spouse”, there are probably several images or ideas that come to mind.

A spouse who is overly possessive, domineering, or who violates their partner’s privacy, for example.

But there are a number of other signs that may not be as easy to spot.

Obvious Signs of a Controlling Spouse

  • A controlling spouse may feel the need to monitor your every move. They might consistently check your phone, emails, or social media accounts without your consent. Monitoring your activities and keeping tabs on your whereabouts is a violation of your privacy, indicates a lack of trust and respect, and can indicate controlling behavior.
  • Isolation is a classic tactic used by controlling people. If your spouse actively tries to isolate you from your family and friends, limiting your interactions and discouraging your relationships, it may be a sign of control. They might try to turn you against your loved ones or discourage you from spending time with your family, and away from them. This tactic leaves you feeling dependent and less likely to seek help or advice from loved ones.
  • Controlling spouses often make all the decisions in the relationship without considering your opinions or desires. They may dismiss your input and preferences, dictate your actions, and impose their will on you, leaving you feeling voiceless and undermined. This imbalance of power can lead to feelings of helplessness and resentment.
  • A controlling spouse may exhibit unwarranted jealousy and accuse you of infidelity without any evidence. They may become overly possessive and try to control your interactions with others. This behavior is not only unfair but also a clear sign of control, as they attempt to exert power and limit your autonomy.
  • Controlling spouses may maintain complete control over finances, limiting your access to money or assets. They might dictate how you spend money, monitor your expenses, or use financial dependence to maintain power and control in the relationship.

More Subtle Signs

Other signs of a controlling spouse may be less evident, both to you as their partner, and to others who know you.

Some of these more difficult signs to spot include the following:

  • Controlling spouses often manipulate situations, emotions, and information to their advantage. They may twist facts, exaggerate, withhold information, or use guilt and manipulation to get their way. This manipulative behavior can erode trust and leave you feeling emotionally drained.
  • Controlling partners often resort to verbal and emotional abuse to assert their dominance. They may use name-calling, insults, belittlement, or threats to undermine your self-esteem and confidence. Emotional abuse can be as damaging or more damaging than physical abuse and should not be tolerated.
  • A controlling spouse may consistently criticize you, your appearance, or your choices. They may set unreasonable expectations and make you feel like you can never meet their standards. This constant criticism and pressure can erode your self-worth and create a cycle of self-doubt.
  • Controlling people often use the manipulative technique known as gaslighting to make you doubt your own perception of reality. They may repeatedly deny their behavior or make you question your memory or sanity. Gaslighting can erode your self-confidence and make it difficult for you to trust your own judgment.

How to Know You Have a Controlling Spouse

Being in a relationship with a controlling spouse is emotionally draining and unhealthy.

It is essential to recognize the signs of a controlling spouse to maintain your well-being.

In extreme cases, a controlling spouse may resort to physical intimidation or physical violence to exert control and maintain dominance.

Any form of physical abuse is intolerable, and immediate action should be taken to ensure safety and seek help.

If any of these signs resonate with your own experiences, it may be time to seek support from trusted friends, family, or professional counselors.

A healthy relationship is built on respect, equality, and open communication, and it is worth making the necessary changes to restore balance and regain your autonomy.

Thank you as always for reading.

If you haven’t yet subscribed, please visit KindCompassCoach and enter your email address so you never miss a post.

As Amazon Associates, we may receive a small commission (at no cost to you) for items purchased through links in this post.


Discover more from KINDCOMPASSCOACH LIFE COACHING

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Categories:

No Responses

Please share your thoughts!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Are Your Experiencing a Mental Health Crisis? Know That You Need Never Be Alone.

Call or text 988

Did You Miss the FREE Self-Esteem Series? No worries! Start With the Link Below

Find What You Need Most Quickly by Clicking the Tags Below!

Sixty and Me Contributor Badge
Come Follow Us On Twitter, too!

Testimonials: Love for KindCompassCoach

"In a world that is becoming increasingly polarized, separating into ‘us’ and ‘them’ far too often, KindCompassCoach is a lighthouse for those seeking a port in the storm. Joan writes straight from her heart using her wealth of knowledge to inspire, encourage, and offer kindness to each and every reader. I love that each post challenges me to consider how I can take the wisdom offered and practice it with intention. Those of us seeking truth and guidance, find it in every single KindCompassCoach post. From how to incorporate mindfulness to accessing our bank of positive memories during times of grief or struggle, Joan encourages her readers with unconditional understanding and compassion. This blog is a gem to be enjoyed and shared!"

Cathy Tubb, This Little Light

We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners. View more
Cookies settings
Accept
Privacy & Cookie policy
Privacy & Cookies policy
Cookie name Active
Life Coaching Sunrise Logo and Kind Compass Coach

Who we are

Comments

Media

Cookies

Embedded content from other websites

Who we share your data with

How long we retain your data

This is so we can recognize and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue.

For users that register on our website (if any), we also store the personal information they provide in their user profile.

All users can see, edit, or delete their personal information at any time (except they cannot change their username). Website administrators can also see and edit that information.

What rights you have over your data

Where your data is sent

Save settings
Cookies settings

Discover more from KINDCOMPASSCOACH LIFE COACHING

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading