Emotional intelligence, often referred to as EQ, is a critical capability, essential to both personal and professional success. Becoming more emotionally intelligent can lead to improved self-awareness, better relationships, enhanced decision-making abilities, and countless other positive developments in all aspects of life.
We recognize it in others. But how can we assess our own? And if we determine it needs work, can we improve it? How?
Today, we discuss how to assess our own capabilities and practical strategies that can help us become more self-aware and improve our own emotional intelligence.
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What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to perceive, understand, manage, and express emotions effectively. It involves self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills.

Individuals who are high in emotional intelligence often exhibit clear signs of their enhanced emotional awareness and understanding.
One key sign is their ability to recognize and manage their own emotions effectively, leading to improved self-regulation and mental well-being.
They are also adept at recognizing and appropriately responding to others’ emotions, demonstrating empathy and strong interpersonal skills.
High emotional intelligence individuals tend to have strong social awareness, picking up on nonverbal cues and understanding the feelings and needs of those around them.
They are skilled at navigating complex social situations, resolving conflicts diplomatically, and building positive relationships based on trust and mutual respect.
Those with high emotional intelligence are usually open to feedback, adaptable to change, and demonstrate resilience in the face of challenges, showcasing their ability to bounce back from setbacks and maintain a positive outlook.

Daniel Goleman and the Concept of Emotional Intelligence
Daniel Goleman is a renowned psychologist and author known for his groundbreaking work on emotional intelligence.
Goleman’s research has highlighted the importance of emotional intelligence in shaping an individual’s success, well-being, and relationships.
He popularized the concept of emotional intelligence as a key factor in personal and professional development, emphasizing the ability to recognize and manage emotions effectively, empathize with others, and build strong interpersonal connections.
Through his best-selling books and lectures, Goleman has brought attention to the critical role emotional intelligence plays in various aspects of life, from leadership and decision-making to mental health and resilience.
His work has significantly influenced how we understand and harness the power of emotions in shaping our behavior, relationships, and overall success.

How to Give Yourself an Emotional Intelligence Test
Assessing your own emotional intelligence involves introspection and self-awareness and may require feedback from others, too.
To determine if you have work to do, reflect on your interactions and reactions in various situations. Consider how you respond to stress, criticism, and conflict.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Are you able to recognize and identify your own emotions? Can you pinpoint the exact emotion you are experiencing?
- Do you tend to react impulsively without considering or understanding your emotional state?
- How do you typically respond to different emotions? Do you tend to react emotionally without considering the consequences, or are you able to regulate your emotions and choose more appropriate responses?

Emotional Intelligence Tests and Assessment Tools
To conduct a more in-depth analysis, you may need to employ an emotional intelligence assessment tool.
These tools are designed to measure an individual’s emotional intelligence skills and competencies, providing valuable insights into how they perceive, understand, and manage emotions.
They typically consist of self-report questionnaires, behavioral observations, and situational judgment scenarios to evaluate various aspects of emotional intelligence, such as self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, social skills, and motivation.
Some popular emotional intelligence assessment tools include the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal, Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT), Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i), and the Genos Emotional Intelligence Inventory.
These tools are used in various settings, including workplaces, educational institutions, and personal development programs.
Their purpose is to help people enhance their emotional intelligence competencies, improve communication and relationships, and achieve greater success and well-being in their personal and professional lives.
When selecting an emotional intelligence assessment tool, it is essential to consider factors such as validity, reliability, ease of administration, and the specific aspects of emotional intelligence being measured to ensure accurate and meaningful results.

Components of Emotional Intelligence: The Role of Empathy
Emotional intelligence is not just about managing your own emotions but also about understanding and connecting with the emotions of those around you.
It also involves the ability to understand and empathize with others.
Assess your empathy by considering how well you can put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Ask yourself:
- Are you able to listen actively, understand and respond with kindness and compassion?
- Do you believe you have adequate social skills?
- Do you have the ability and do you build positive relationships with others?
Seek Feedback from Others
Another effective way to assess your own emotional skills is to seek feedback from others.
Ask friends, family members, or colleagues for their honest assessment.
Listen openly to their feedback and be willing to make changes based on their suggestions.
Constructive criticism can be a valuable tool for improving your EQ.
Other Indicators of Low Emotional Intelligence
If you find yourself frequently reacting impulsively, struggling to regulate your emotions, or lacking empathy in your interactions with others, these may be indicators of room to grow and improve.
Difficulty in understanding your own emotions, challenges in communicating effectively, and strained relationships can also point to areas that need improvement.
Acknowledging these signs is the first step toward strengthening your emotional skills.

How to Improve Emotional Intelligence
Just like any other skill, emotional intelligence is not fixed. It can be developed over time with effort, practice, and self-reflection given your commitment and a willingness to grow and learn.
One effective way to improve your emotional intelligence is by developing self-awareness.
- Start by paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in various situations.
- Practice mindfulness and self-reflection to gain insight into your emotional triggers and reactions.
- Keep a journal to track your emotions and identify patterns in your responses.
By becoming more aware of your own emotions, you can better regulate them and make informed decisions.
Another essential aspect of emotional intelligence is empathy.
- Empathy involves seeing things from others’ perspectives, understanding their feelings, and responding with compassion and sensitivity.
- To enhance your empathy, practice active listening during conversations, seeking to understand the emotions behind the words.
- Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and imagine how they might be feeling in different situations.
Showing empathy can strengthen your relationships, build trust, and foster a sense of connection with others.
You can enhance your emotional intelligence by actively working to recognize and manage your emotions, empathize with others, and improve your social skills.
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How to Know Your EQ is Improving
Once you have implemented strategies to improve your EQ, how can you tell if your efforts are paying off?
One way to assess this is by monitoring your interactions with others.
Notice if you are more attentive to their emotions, listening actively, and responding with empathy.
Reflect on whether you are able to regulate your own emotions effectively in challenging situations, maintaining a sense of calm and composure.
If you find yourself handling conflicts more constructively, building stronger relationships, and feeling more in tune with your own emotions, these could be signs that your emotional intelligence is improving.
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Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ): Frequently Asked Questions
What is EQ, and why is it important?
Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions as well as the emotions of others. It encompasses skills such as self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills. EQ is crucial because it influences how we communicate, navigate social interactions, handle stress, and make decisions. Those with high EQ are better equipped to build strong relationships, lead effectively, and adapt to change.
How can I assess my own EQ?
There are various assessment tools available, such as the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal, Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT), and Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i), which can provide insights into your emotional intelligence competencies. Additionally, self-reflection and feedback from others can help in gauging your EQ levels.
What are some signs that I may need to work on my EQ?
Signs that you may need to enhance your EI include struggling to manage stress, experiencing challenges in relationships, difficulty in understanding or expressing emotions, and finding it challenging to adapt to change or navigate conflict effectively.
How can I improve my EQ?
Improving your emotional intelligence involves various strategies, including practicing self-awareness through mindfulness and self-reflection, developing self-regulation by managing stress and impulses, building empathy by actively listening and considering others’ perspectives, enhancing social skills through effective communication and conflict resolution, and fostering motivation by setting and pursuing meaningful goals.
In what ways can EQ be beneficial in the workplace?
EQ plays a significant role in the workplace, contributing to effective leadership, teamwork, communication, and conflict resolution. Individuals with high EQ are often better at motivating and managing others, building strong collaborative relationships, and navigating complex work environments.
How can I integrate EQ into my daily life?
Incorporate practices such as active listening, mindfulness, and empathetic communication into your daily interactions. Seek opportunities to understand and regulate your emotions, empathize with others, and build positive relationships both personally and professionally.
How to Assess Yourself
Assessing yourself is an important step towards personal growth and self-awareness.
By recognizing and managing your emotions, cultivating empathy and social skills, seeking feedback, and practicing daily, you can enhance your EQ and build more meaningful and fulfilling relationships in all aspects of your life.
Thank you as always for reading.
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Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Joan’s career includes clinical healthcare plus 20+ years as an executive in a nationwide health care system and 15 years as a consultant. The common threads throughout Joan’s personal and professional life are a commitment to non-profit organizations, mental health, compassionate coaching, professional development and servant leadership. Joan has had the privilege of mentoring early and mid-career professionals as well as current and future executives and leaders. She is a member of the International Organization of Life Coaches, serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is also a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me. You can read more about Joan here: Joan Senio.
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