Change: How to Cope and Learn to Love It

Not many years ago, the pace of change was somewhat fairly modest. We usually had time to acclimate to new ways of thinking and new ways to do things.  But those days are gone. Something can now be invented, trend on Twitter and sweep the globe in minutes. Improvements to technology and apps, and even development of new social media platforms are so frequent and rampant that constraints on the frequency and intensity of change of things we encounter every day are almost non-existent. Now more than ever, we must hone our abilities to cope with change, constantly.

Why We Must Learn to Cope with Change

Everything is changing, almost moment to moment. How we travel, shop, get food, meet people, interact: all of it. A few decades ago, the newspaper and an evening TV broadcast were when we learned about world events.

Now cellphones and flat screens bombard us with up to the minute developments.

We can and do replay them over and over. We can dissect and filter them and take them out of context. The truth is, anyone can pretty much edit or clip any communication into a soundbite that suits them. This creates dissonance among us, as we all find ourselves asking, more and more often, what the truth really is.

And “the truth” keeps changing, like everything else.

Many believe this environment of immediate gratification and perpetual “upgrades” is ideal. But I think it takes a toll. And that frustration will begin to emerge as we reach the time when our ability to “improve” begins to diminish.

For now, the tech industry dutifully meets our demand for speed and “better stuff.”

Things change so frequently and often that we no longer get to experience what scientists call “stasis”: a period of time when things settle; a time to rest and recover from rapid change and evolution. Today, we reset so often and significantly that life as we knew it, even just a decade or two ago, is a distant memory.

The time to catch our breath between “enhancements” to our lives has all but evaporated.

So – what does all this have to do with happiness and positive psychology?

The research of Charles Darwin regarding “survival of the fittest” led to a scientific observation that has been widely acknowledged in recent years. This is the best way I have found it written:  In the words of Leon Megginson: “According to Darwin’s Origin of the Species, it is not the most intellectual of the species that survives; it is not the strongest of the species that survives; the species that survives is the one that is able to best adapt and adjust to the changing environment in which it finds itself.”

Let that sink in for a minute.

Our SURVIVAL AS A SPECIES depends on our ability to adapt to change.

Yet our entire species is driving themselves into a frenzy to continue to “improve” and make things, better, faster, cheaper. Should we wonder when our ability to change will no longer be able to keep up with our own advancements? What’s going to happen then – a massive re-boot of our species? I’ve never been afraid of robots before, but now my gears are grinding.

I began to think about Darwin’s observation and all the positive psychology and happiness advice out there. There are so many things that we “should” do to improve our state of mind and our contentedness. It’s overwhelming.

So, to be practical, where can we get the best “bang for my buck” with self-care and wellness? What one thing could we do that would provide the biggest gain?

How To Help Ourselves Thrive During Change

Here’s what I came around to:

  • Darwin was a pretty smart dude, and he thought adapting to change was the most critical capability we need to survive.
  • A bunch of wicked smart neurobiologists are telling us that doing new things is critical to keep our brains nimble and “young”.
  • Positive psychology experts advise that doing one new thing a day – even in the absence of other lifestyle changes – improves our health.
  • Things around us are changing faster and more frequently than ever before – and there is nothing we can do to stop it.

So, putting all this together….

If we can do one thing on the long list of well-being recommendations, that thing should probably be to do something new and novel every single day.

And to build up a tolerance for (or maybe even an appreciation for?) change.

Thank you as always for reading.

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4 Responses

  1. Lorrie says:

    Excellent article, Joan! A real catch 22!
    I agree and I think the scariest robot is my smartphone! I am not techy but I have adapted to using it, so much so that it would be hard to live without it. And yet it does things that make me scratch my head and repeat to myself…”It’s a phone!”
    I’m really happy to meet you.
    Have a super day!!

  2. Jess Pacheco says:

    This is very true on every level of our present existence. I live in a metropolis and a BIG one at that and even though we live stacked on top of one another, we are more lonely than some of the folks who live in the most desolate places of our planet. There is a resurgence of terrible adversity and it is crippling the way people interact with one another everyday. New generations are raised to feel guilty for the actions of their predecessors and for looking like those in the structure of an institution in which they, too, were born into. I don’t understand why we put ourselves in such a catch 22 and why people with such a conviction of history allow themselves to breed generations who hate. People then use their hate speech under the guise of freedom of speech and I just find that regressive of society. In an effort to counteract this, folks feel inclined to give precedence to people by their labels: i.e. Pacific Islander, Black, Brown, Gay, Liquid Gender, etc. and the list goes on, but what about just giving precedence to “man”. Like, why are we this way? There is no denying that there are systems in place that inhibit people and specific people, but I don’t see how “safe havens” that exclude so many people who consider themselves allies but don’t fit the exempt labels of that safe place, are doing any of us any good? The dean a the University of Chicago actually removed and stopped condoning safe places because it showed that people avoided dialogue and debate. http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2016/08/the-university-of-chicagos-anti-safe-space-letter-matters.html I think this was a tremendous move and important step in the right direction. My biggest question is what are our solutions? We constantly highlight the tragedies of our history. But we often don’t brainstorm solutions.

  3. I’ve always accepted the need to change in our modern world but it’s the speed of change that leaves many confused and even angry. I’m reminded of the story of a Church minister who tried to get his congregation to move the piano from one side of the Church to the other, without success. Years later he visited the Church and noticed the piano had been moved. he asked his replacement how he did it and the reply was simple. ‘An inch at a time’
    The more vulnerable in our society need time and patience to accept change.

  4. Mel LaBella says:

    I don’t like change. I am definitely one of those people! But thinking about change in this way fascinates me. I really feel like people don’t fully understand how much technology has changed in such a short time. A lot has changed in a short amount of time actually, and I feel that it is not appreciated enough. Good post!

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