How to Stop Worrying: 5 Suggestions That Make an Impact

The more I read about psychology, the more I realize there are often logical explanations for illogical behaviors. And that makes it even more difficult to rein in those illogical behaviors. Worrying is one example of something we do that simply does not make sense.  So, at 2am the other night, as I lay there imagining the worst about some irrational thing, I thought to myself: there must be a reason why we worry.  I made a mental note in my cluttered brain to look it up. When I got around to doing it, I discovered some explanations for why we do it. Even better, I picked up a few ideas about how to stop worrying so much.

These suggestions seem to be working, so far. More on that in a minute.

But first, why do we worry in the first place?

How to Stop Worrying So Much: Causes of Worry

Uncertainty is a big cause of worry.  When we’re in an uncertain situation, we tend to over-analyze it.

We want to be sure we’ve “thought of everything” and are prepared for any outcome.

And the more possible outcomes, the more we worry, and the harder it is to let go.

This goes double for situations where the outcome is out of our control.

It makes us feel helpless on top of being uncertain, and this combo is a double whammy.

We begin to obsess. But why?

Why We Worry

So, this is amazing. Here’s what happens to us.

In our infinite wisdom, whenever a worrisome time has passed, with no negative outcome (that is, everything turns out just fine), we connect the fact that we worried to the lack of negative outcome.

Can you believe that?

Our brains think that if we hadn’t worried so much, things would’ve turned out badly.

And so, we reinforce this habit of worry, over and over and over.

Other Myths About Worrying

We also tend to believe a few other things about worrying that are not true:

• Somehow, we think worrying will make us better prepared for bad news.
• We believe we’ll be safer if we worry about something.
• For some reason, we think we show others how much we care by how much we worry.
• Inexplicably, we think worrying motivates us to take action.
• We also think we get better at solving problems by worrying about them.

None of this is true.

Worrying does not prepare us for anything.

It doesn’t make us safer.

There is absolutely zero scientific evidence to support any of these beliefs.

The only thing worrying does is exhaust us, make us irritable, and prevent us from enjoying the current moment – when absolutely nothing is going wrong.

Let’s get into how to stop worrying – to help us feel better and avoid unnecessary stress and more.

How to Stop Worrying

So, what to do? How to stop ourselves from worrying so much?

I found a few suggestions and added two of my own:

1. Address the biological symptoms and results.  When we worry, it shows up as mental and physical tension. Guided relaxation, meditation, or exercise can help.  Calming the body helps calm the nervous system and your brain.
2. Try to become more aware of worrying when it begins to happen.  We must make an effort to be more mindful about the events that are actually unfolding around us. We need to concentrate on the here and now – where nothing wrong is happening.
3. Let’s try to remember the serenity prayer.  Specifically, we must remember to do our best to differentiate between the things we can and can’t control.  If we apply this thinking as we worry, and we realize we’re focused on things we can’t control, it can break the worry cycle.
4. Sometimes I worry about things that are just not that serious.  Especially at 2am. When this happens, (and I realize I’m doing it) I try to imagine the worst possible outcome.  And then I ask myself – so what? Of course, this approach is not always effective – but it can work when we may be getting overly worked up about something that is actually not life-altering.
5. When nothing else works, try to ‘fake’ being worry free. Just for an hour, a day, or more – see how life feels when you adopt a different perspective.

While the above strategies are useful for managing anxiety independently, it’s key that you also acknowledge when these challenges may require professional help.

Fortunately, there are many different forms of anxiety treatment to choose between, depending on your needs and requirements. For example, you may want to attend a rehabilitation facility that caters specifically to those dealing with heightened anxiety, join a local support group, or meet with a therapist. 

Any of the options listed above are useful for identifying the root of your anxiety and developing healthy coping mechanisms that will allow you to succeed moving forward. As such, you’ll notice that your anxiety begins to have less of a hold over your life. When anxious thoughts do crop up, you’ll know exactly what to do to manage them.

How to Stop Worrying So Much

Do you have other, constructive ideas to share about breaking the habit of worrying?

Are there success stories you would like to share with the rest of us?

If you can, please post a comment and let us know what you’re thinking.

Because worrying is not a healthy behavior.

Let’s try to help each other overcome it, always remembering, we’re all so much more than enough.

Thank you as always for reading.

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KindCompassCoach

Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Her career includes 20+ years as a private sector corporate executive and 15 years (and counting) as a consultant and coach. The common thread through her professional life has been a commitment to compassionate leadership, including leading and mentoring current and future leaders, and women from all walks of life. KindCompassCoach articles are backed by research and include facts and advice from a wide variety of experts. Joan is a member of the International Organization of Life Coaches, serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me.