The Power of Words: How to Tap into Their Energy

A while ago, I wrote a post about verbal abuse called How to Deal with Verbal Abuse.  Ever since, I’ve been meaning to come back to the topic of the power of words. More specifically, how they can also be an awesome positive force in our lives.

The words we use to communicate with others are so important.

Think about all the opportunities we have to make a positive impact on others during our lives.

From the first time we speak to our children, the first conversation we have with a stranger, or the first words we speak when we enter a job interview.

The Power of Words

We can choose words that support, encourage, help and heal. And we can also consciously avoid words that hurt, humiliate, discourage, or blame. It sounds simple, doesn’t it? But it sure can be challenging.

There are things we can do to make it easier, though. For example, we can choose to be mindful, present, in the moment; to be fully conscious of the choices we make; and to think before we speak.  We can also choose not to act too quickly to fill silence.

To focus on the person we’re interacting with so we can better choose the words they need to hear.

I think we all have memories from childhood when someone chose words that hurt. When we speak to children let’s make an extra effort to choose words that give them energy and power.

And realize the times it may be best to simply be there and be gentle and respectful. To recognize when the absence of words is also powerful and may be the best way to convey our support.

To simply be a silent, positive, caring presence, and love them unconditionally. These are choices we make, and reasons why we must be present in the moment.

The Power of Words Outside the Home

Outside the home, our words matter, too! Scientists have shown that a single word we speak can change a person’s first impression of us; and first impressions are difficult to overcome.

Think of the potential consequences to new relationships of all kinds.

The power of words is so huge that it’s best to always choose our words carefully.

And if it sounds like a chore, well, it should.

What we say to others matters.

Better to be silent and thoughtful before we speak, than to say something careless and unkind.

Because our words matter.

Habits

As with many other things, we tend to form habits about the words we to use.  Another reason to choose our words carefully.  Do we want to develop a habit of using negative phrases or pessimistic comments?

More reason to pause before we speak. There is an expression that says something like this: Before you say something, ask yourself, is it kind? is it helpful? is it necessary?

Sometimes the choice of a specific word itself can make all the difference.

For example:

• Should we refer to a question-and-answer session as an “interview” or as an “interrogation”?
• Or title an email “complaint” vs “suggestion”?
• And of course, the well-known “opportunity” vs. “challenge”.

When we share with someone suggestions for them to improve vs. criticisms of their weaknesses – we change the entire face of the conversation. And we tap into the power of words.

Yes, it’s hard work to be thoughtful.  And yes, we should make the effort and do it. 

Try this on for size: maybe we should spend less time picking out gifts and more time choosing our words.

Self-Talk and The Power of Words

Perhaps the most powerful of conversations we have is with ourselves.

There is no one else we will talk to more than we talk to ourselves, in our own minds.

If it’s worth being careful with others, it’s definitely worth being thoughtful with ourselves.

This is where our word choices begin and our word habits form. It may be where words have the most meaning. In the face of outside abuse, keeping our own voices clear, positive and inspiring, can make all the difference.

Let’s be disciplined with our internal speech and tone and yes, choose silence when that’s what we need in our own minds, too. And let’s pause before labeling, to allow ourselves to just feel emotion, or reaction, or need.

And let’s take the time to put the right name to the circumstance, to choose the best word to encourage ourselves, and to increase the odds of us putting our own best foot forward with the rest of the world.

How to Put the Words into Action

There are many ways we can harness the power of words.

For example, we can embrace positive affirmations.  Here are some examples:

• I am strong, healthy, and energetic.
• Today will be the best day I’ve had in a long while.
• I choose my words carefully and am a kind person.
• I take care of myself because I love myself but also so I may be the best person I can be for others.

We can also make a conscious effort to choose positive words over negative words whenever we speak or think.  For a list of positive words that may provide some inspiration please visit the Positive Word Vocabulary!

We can’t always choose the best words.

Many times, we may be unsure of what to say to ease pain or provide encouragement.

If we stumble, let’s be kind in our own self-talk – we’re human after all.  But let’s do try to remember – words matter. Verbal abuse can avoid be present in a relationship with a narcissist. To read more about narcissism, visit this post.

Thank you as always for reading.

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Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Her career includes 20+ years as a private sector corporate executive and 15 years as a consultant. The common thread through her professional life has been a commitment to compassionate coaching and leadership, including mentoring early and mid-career professionals as well as current and future executives and leaders. KindCompassCoach articles are backed by research and include facts and advice from relevant experts. Joan is a member of the International Organization of Life Coaches, serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me.