This week, we’re sharing information you need to know to sleep better, longer, and more peacefully. Today, we’re covering the fascinating subject of dreams. Why do we dream? What are the most common dream themes? And more.
Why Do We Dream? Facts About Dreaming
Our brains generate the most random, creative, interesting stories – all while we are sleeping. Do you ever wonder if others dream about the same things? Or what the most common themes are? Why do we dream in the first place?
Almost all of us do it. It can happen any time we’re asleep, although it’s most common during REM cycles, as our brains tend to go into overdrive during these stages of sleep. But, what’s it all about? Why do we dream?
After all, we only remember a small proportion of our dreams; usually only those that occur shortly before we wake.
What It’s Like When We Dream
In our nighttime fantasies, we are rarely alone.
About half of the time, we know others who are present.
During the other half, people do appear, but we don’t necessarily know who they are.
Women’s dreams include about 50% men and 50% women; but men see men twice as often.
While we sleep, we are often trying to face or overcome a problem.
This can include challenges we face at work, at home, in a relationship, or any other aspect of our lives. About 30% of the time, we dream about something going wrong, a mistake, or a tragedy.
Unfortunately, we dream about these negative occurrences almost 7 times as often as happy, unexpected outcomes, or a windfall.
In contrast to waking thoughts, our sleeping thoughts can be disjointed and illogical.
This is in part because dreaming is largely controlled by a different portion of our brain than our daytime thinking.
Why Do We Dream?
There is no one accepted theory regarding the purpose of dreams.
- The phenomenon may play a role in our processing of memories or may help migrate short term memories to our longer-term memory banks.
- Others believe dreaming enables our brains to solve problems, even while we are resting.
- One school of thought proposes that our sleeping thoughts help us prepare for potential future threats. While we are asleep, we test out strategies to counter these threats, in a war-gaming kind of environment, if you will.
- Some believe that while we sleep, we sort through thoughts, disposing of unnecessary information, and retaining essential facts in our permanent memory.
- Another theory is that it provides us a creative outlet. Without the limits or boundaries of rational, daytime thinking, we may come up with new ideas, inventions or solutions.
Others believe that dreaming happens simply as a by-product of other biological activities that are going on while we sleep, and that it has no purpose of its own.
Common Themes
The four most common themes center around 1) being chased or pursued; 2) sexual encounters; 3) experiences related to school; and 4) feeling as though we are falling. Interestingly, people across genders, cultures and other demographic groups largely report these same themes as the most common they have experienced.
(In this case, “common themes” means that people report having dreamed about these topics at least once.)
The ranking of these four themes is different for men than women, however; for women being chased is #1; for men, sex is #1.
Other common themes include being late for an appointment, seeing a person who has died as alive, experiencing fear that prevents us from acting, and being physically attacked.
Why Do We Dream? And What They Mean …
Years ago, Freud suggested dreams represented repressed wishes.
Carl Jung believed that they play a role in the development of personality.
Although many still believe there are merit to these theories, no one hypothesis is accepted among sleep experts.
Theories abound regarding the meaning of certain events in a dream.
For example, the ancient Chinese believed if you dreamed of your teeth falling out that some misfortune was going to happen to your parents.
Today, however, scientists are more likely to attribute the teeth falling out theme to depression or anxiety.
What About Nightmares?
All of us have had bad dreams at one time or another. Some have upsetting dreams that are more vivid or frequent.
Technically, the difference between a “bad dream” and a nightmare is that a nightmare is so frightening or disruptive that it causes us to wake.
We can sleep through our bad dreams and remember them when we wake up.
It is not unusual to have a nightmare from time to time, but if they happen frequently, you may be suffering from a “nightmare disorder.”
Disturbed sleep may also be symptoms of “night terrors”.
The difference is that those who experience night terrors do not wake up, as those who suffer nightmares do.
Also, night terrors do not happen during REM sleep – while nightmares usually do.
Unfortunately, there are many different theories about what causes nightmares or night terrors, and how to prevent them from happening.
If you experience either often or suddenly, there are a few things that may identify a cause, including starting a new medication, withdrawal from drugs or alcohol, lack of sleep, and anxiety, stress or other mental health concerns.
If nightmares persist, it’s important to consult a doctor; long term sleep disruptions can have many downstream consequences.
How to Remember What Happens While We Sleep
Some of us remember our nighttime adventures, and some of us don’t.
If we don’t naturally tend to remember what happens while we are sleeping, it can be challenging to do so.
Experts say there a few things that may help improve your recall:
- Write down what you remember as soon as you wake up.
- Keep a journal (either a notebook or an on-line app may work) just for this purpose. Looking back over your entries may help you identify patterns or recurring themes.
- Avoid setting an alarm. We’re more likely to remember dreams if we go through sleep cycles and awake naturally.
- Psych yourself up at bedtime. Consciously think about your desire to remember what happens in your dreams.
Want to learn more? Another key driver of our sleep relates to circadian rhythm.
You may also be interested in reading about the amazing 10-3-2-1-0 Sleep Rule.
Want another strategy to improve your sleep? Identify your chronotype! It can help you to rest better than ever before.
Here’s to refreshing sleep for all of us, and thank you, as always, for reading.
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Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Her career includes 20+ years as a private sector corporate executive and 15 years (and counting) as a consultant and coach. The common thread through her professional life has been a commitment to compassionate leadership, including leading and mentoring current and future leaders, and women from all walks of life. KindCompassCoach articles are backed by research and include facts and advice from a wide variety of experts. Joan is a member of the International Organization of Life Coaches, serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me.
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