You read that correctly. There’s no denying, having work-life balance can be important to happiness and well-being.
But I’ve never liked the term “work-life balance” or the things that phrase implies. It makes it sound like we only live when we are not working.
And that work is not an integral part of our existence, our livelihood.
Now, more than ever, it’s time to stop pursuing this imaginary world where work and life fit into two neat, separate parts of our existence.
How and Why to Stop Pursuing “Work-Life Balance“
Today, more than ever before, the lines between life and work are blurred, for many of us.
Even in careers where stark lines delineate work from life, it would be a shame if the people honoring those professions only thrived when they were not working.
The term “work-life balance” also implies a need to vigilantly monitor two separate, distinct parts of our lives to ensure they don’t get out of equilibrium.
That sounds so difficult. Like a grain of sand on one side or the other would make things crash to the ground. So, let’s make it a little easier on ourselves.
Let’s stop perpetuating the notion that we need to achieve this sensitive, elusive thing called “work-life balance“.
And let’s agree that things won’t be smashed out of whack due to a single weekend on the job or a single day spent daydreaming.
Real Life Doesn’t Fit with the Concept of Work-Life Balance
We need to get real and accept that our lives are a messy, hectic, mixed-up sequence of events.
And stop trying to jam life into two artificially differentiating slices.
Accept that we sometimes must take a work call while we clean up dog puke; or hit the mute and turn the camera off to change a diaper.
Or find a quiet place on business travel to facetime and sing our children to sleep.
We may need to work while sitting at a sick parent’s bed side.
And, regrettably, we may need to miss a child’s championship game, because Grandpa fell down the stairs.
This is life. And it does not need or require balance and clear lines to be beautiful.
Finding Joy in All Aspects of Life
We must endeavor to find joy in it all: not just the slice that we choose to call “life”.
There is no fix and no need for a fix. We do the best we can.
But there is something we can and should change.
We can change how we talk to ourselves in these situations.
Some say we need to forgive ourselves when we find we are not able to do it all.
But my hope for us is that we can skip over the whole blame and forgiveness part.
How about we aim to have acceptance be the first and only feeling we have when we are put in these difficult circumstances?
We Must Find Self-Compassion when Work-Life Balance Eludes Us
Would you blame a friend if she couldn’t make it to your birthday party because her child was sick, and then forgive her afterwards? No.
You would understand her need to be with her child, and there would be no blame or forgiveness involved.
Can we try to be as understanding to ourselves?
More than just helping us to feel better, embracing self-compassion helps us to become more resilient.
Stronger in the face of challenges, and more able to bounce back when things don’t go as well as we hoped.
So, let’s cultivate an environment where we are more compassionate with ourselves and others.
This will help us all feel better, heal faster, and accept one another more readily. We need to do this.
And work-life balance be damned – let’s love every minute we are being ourselves.
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Joan Senio is the founder of KindCompassCoach. Her career includes 20+ years as a private sector corporate executive and 15 years (and counting) as a consultant and coach. The common thread through her professional life has been a commitment to compassionate leadership, including leading and mentoring current and future leaders, and women from all walks of life. KindCompassCoach articles are backed by research and include facts and advice from a wide variety of experts. Joan is a member of the International Organization of Life Coaches, serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me.
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8 Responses
Great blog post as usual!
I managed to carve out a good balance while I raised my children alone. Now that they are young adults, I have kept the same habits. Making good use out of my pockets of time (a patient cancels and I take a ten minute walk outside – meditate for a few – text my kids with an I love you etc) it’s funny, but I’m just finishing my post for tomorrow about how I accomplish what I do, we must be on the same page! Much love to you!
Love this! Embracing the chaos, finding the peace in the daily struggle, this us the recipe to be truly happy in a by season, in any struggle. Beautifully written, thank you!
I love the Life Balance diagram, I’ve also felt that worrying about balancing work and life makes it sound like there’s no way to enjoy work time which is so depressing. While I can’t say I love work I do hope that someday I can find something that I will enjoy!
Thank you so much for reading and commenting Sabrina. I agree – doing work we love should be our aspiration!
Brilliant post as always, Joan! I really love how you can encourage us to look at things from a different perspective to not be so hard on ourselves. “Life is a messy, hectic, mixed up sequence of events” is the most accurate sentence ever. We do need to be a little kinder to ourselves and accept that things don’t always go to plan and that’s totally okay. Thank you for sharing such an inspirational post, it’s the perfect way to start a brand new week <3 xx
Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com
Thank you so much for your comment Bexa!
Great blog post, so well-written and wonderfully positive – which I adore! I can totally relate to a lot of what you’ve said above. Thank you so much for sharing!
With love, Alisha Valerie x | http://www.alishavalerie.com
I agree that balance isn’t the right word. For me it’s more about the constant struggle between chasing a career and enjoying life. Yes work can be enjoyable but it’s separate from family and friends.