Holiday Blues? Learn How to Feel Better Now

It’s that time of year. Many are starting to feel a twinge of those “Holiday Blues”.

It’s an unpleasant mixture that can include elements of depression, anxiety and exhaustion.

Some of us just feel listless.

Others experience intense fatigue and tiredness that no amount of sleep seems to rectify.

For some, it’s all about aches and pains. Or irritability. But for most, there’s an emotional element, too.

We’re not just bone tired. We’re sad.

Symptoms of the Holiday Blues

There can be other symptoms, too. Perhaps we’re not being as patient as we usually are.

Our energy levels are low, and this contributes to our lethargy.

Or we find ourselves, inexplicably, suddenly on the verge of tears.

We’re disappointed in ourselves, for a host of reasons:

• we didn’t get our chores done.
• our body isn’t the size or shape we want it to be.
• at night, especially, we can’t seem to get off the sofa.
• we feel like we’re letting friends and family down.

And the guilt makes it worse. We wonder to ourselves, “will I ever snap out of this?”

What Causes the Holiday Blues?

It may help to know there are specific things that may cause us to feel especially crummy this time of year.

For one, right now, there are many things going on around us that contribute to a general sense of malaise.

And for those who suffer with mental health concerns, it can be enough to set off a serious depressive episode.

Knowing the triggers, and knowing that at least some of this shall pass, may be helpful.

So what’s contributing to what many of us are feeling right now?

Factors That May Intensify the Holiday Blues

1. The days are getting shorter and colder.

Basically, less sun = less happiness.

For a number of reasons.

When there’s less sun, we spend less time outdoors and active.

We spend more time indoors, sitting still, and also very often, alone. Enter The Holiday Blues.

To make matters worse, there’s also the Vitamin D thing; sun helps us meet our needs in this area.

And more darkness makes us produce more melatonin (a hormone that makes us sleepy). And since it’s getting dark earlier in the day, we’re getting dosed with melatonin earlier, and feeling sleepy earlier, too.

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2. Stressful decisions.

Yes, that joyful time of year is not always so joyful.

Do we stay with my family or his?

Should we let the kids visit with their friends?

How will we balance their schedules with ours?

Shall we travel? Or will the relatives visit us?

How can we make sure everyone feels loved and no one is left out?

Family is a blessing, but all the juggling of our obligations can also raise our stress levels.

Layer that on top of end of the year deadlines for work, and/or loneliness – which tends to strike some of us worst this time of year – and it’s a recipe for volatile emotional swings, which can be exhausting.

It’s no wonder so many of us suffer from the Holiday Blues!

3. Other sources of stress.

The gift-choosing, finding, and wrapping. The extra shopping and baking. The meal planning, ingredient shopping, food preparation, extra household chores, incoming guests, and/or travel arrangements to make, just to name a few.

The long list of “shoulds” that begins to overcome our joy.

• I should go visit Aunt Marie.
• Homemade treats! I didn’t make homemade treats!
• If I don’t go spend time with Mom or Dad, and my partner’s Mom and Dad, and oh the step-parents, too, I’m not a good daughter.
• I forgot to buy gifts for the teachers.

We begin to feel we are not enough because our list of the requirements to be enough is too darn long. It’s very easy for the Holiday Blues to intensify when we’re beating ourselves up all day.

4. We’re eating a lot of stuff that doesn’t help

If all these things aren’t enough, when it’s cold outside, we all often want to just hunker down with a nice warm, hearty meal.

Enter the food that’s loaded with carbs and fat, some of which we would never even think of consuming on a hot summer day.

It’s our body’s natural survival instinct – chow down to survive the winter! Except now we have coats and heat and fireplaces and other things to help us survive – we don’t need to eat a Woolly Mammoth!

And after a heavy main course, maybe with a cocktail or two, the dessert becomes harder to resist too.

We want, no, we NEED some sugar to balance out all that fat – and what’s one or two cookies, or a piece of pie, a glass of eggnog in the grand scheme of things?

I find myself eating things in December that I would never even be tempted by in July. Is there anyone out there who drinks eggnog or Irish coffee in July?

And is it any wonder, when I feel like a slug and a sloth I’m extra special vulnerable to those Holiday Blues?

5. We’re not touching Mother Earth

Coming in touch with the earth, whether it be from walking barefoot, gardening, or some other outdoor activity, provides us with a natural boost.

The scientific explanation has to do with the free radicals in our bodies.

“Grounding” is another way to get some of those wonderful antioxidants we read so much about. And needless to say, when it’s dark and cold outside – we get less of this natural boost.

So, less time playing in the dirt is another reason our Holiday Blues can overtake us this time of year.

6. Vacation is a distant memory.

Last but not least, for many, it’s been a darn long time since that once-a-year summer vacation. Burn-out is rearing its ugly head at the time of year when we’re trying to dig deep for that extra boost of energy, we need to take on some tasks that can seem almost insurmountable.

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I could keep going, but you get the idea — there’s a whole lot going on that’s making us feel our worst.

Maybe the key message here is: Know that it’s not just you!

And it’s natural. For most of us this time of year, we just fall into a bit of a slump.

For some, it’s a mild case of sadness, or the “blahs” and reading a post or two like this may give us some ideas about how to try and get some spring back in our step.

But for others, it is much more serious. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a form of clinical depression.

If you feel as though you are suffering from this and are unable to find relief, please seek care from professional mental health providers right away.

Here’s How to Beat Those Holiday Blues

For those who would like to give it a go, here are some ideas about how we can try to offset some of the natural conditions that are bringing us down, and tackle those Holiday Blues:

1. Get outside to beat the Holiday Blues.

Especially when the sun is shining. Try for 20 minutes a day. I remember reading something like this once: Put on comfortable walking shoes. Tell yourself you will walk to the mailbox (and back). When you get to the mailbox, odds are, you’ll find the motivation to keep going.

So just decide, I’m going to walk to the mailbox every day.

Put do it prepared to continue.

2. Get sun other ways.

If it’s bitter cold outside, just sitting by a window where there’s natural light can help. There are also natural light boxes available for purchase.

Check out Use Light Therapy to Get Ahead of SAD for more ideas.

3. Move.

Any way possible. Getting geared up for exercise is tough when we’re feeling down, so if that’s not feeling realistic right now, know that even just simple movement helps a lot.

• Walk up and down the stairs.
• Stand while you take a phone call.
• Walk around the house or your office.
• Or crank up some tunes and dance it out!

Getting circulation going helps everything.

If you can do it outside it’s a double dose of goodness. Well, maybe not the dancing? Or who knows … perhaps you’ll make some new friends? New friends can also help dispel the Holiday Blues!

4. Eat healthy to beat the Holiday Blues.

Yes, I know – easier said than done, right?

It can help to just commit to have a healthy breakfast.

Find some easy breakfast foods that are convenient and good for you and keep them around.

And we need to make ourselves drink at least 1 full glass of water with breakfast to partially re-hydrate to start the day.

Being dehydrated can mess with us in many ways that may give the Holiday Blues an edge.

5. Make commitments that matter.

To ourselves and to others.

Putting something on the calendar that we must show up for helps us have a sense of purpose.

Try to schedule at least 1 thing a week for the rest of the year. Perhaps 1 week it’s a haircut. Another week, it’s a manicure. Perhaps 1 week we plan lunch with a friend. Or a meeting we’ve been putting off.

Just the act of scheduling these things can help us feel productive.

6. Eliminate a few things from your to-do list to beat the Holiday Blues.

One or two fewer gifts, one or two fewer dishes to cook, one or two “shoulds” that aren’t required or bringing you joy.

In the end, taking care of our own needs is so much more important to everyone in our lives.

If there are a handful of traditions that are important to your family, make them the priority. And let some of the rest slide. If it helps think of it this way: when we do what we can to help dispel our own Holiday Blues, it brightens other people’s days, too.

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7. Ask for or accept help.

Many people enjoy helping others out, especially this time of year when they may be feeling more lonely than usual.

Maybe Grandma or Grandpa would like to be more involved in the holiday prep this year?

And the kids – they are a year older! What can they do to lighten your load?

Give them a chance to show up for you and be proud of themselves, too.

Learn More About Why Self-Care Is Good for Everyone Around You

8. Consider vitamins.

Some of us can really benefit from a supplement or two especially during this time of year. Vitamin B and D are both popular but check with your doctor to see what may work best for you.

Especially if your case of the Holiday Blues is worse than in years past – you may need to pay more attention to it than you have before.

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9. Remember what keeps you grounded.

When we’re feeling down, seeking out experiences that bring short term happiness, like an epic party or wild night on the town can often have a boomerang effect. A short-term high can be followed by a worse low.

So, think about what makes you content.

Calm. Peaceful. Seek steadiness vs. giddiness. For some, meditation or other mindfulness activity works.

For others, it’s prayer or volunteering or doing puzzles or some other hobby like knitting or crocheting or even doing a crossword.

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Whatever your calm is, get more of that in your life. More calm = less intense Holiday Blues!

10. Tend to your own personal grooming.

Sounds basic. But there are many days when this is a challenge for many of us, especially during COVID.

• Get out of the clothes you slept in.
• Wash your face.
• Take a shower.
• Put on some makeup if you enjoy that.

If things are really rough, break this down into small steps.

Each step helps bring us out of the darkness a bit. Any form of self-care will help!

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And like flowers, we will all eventually feel the natural pull of the sun.

Holiday Cheer Is Optional

It can feel almost like we’re required to be “jolly” this time of year.

But it’s definitely not that simple for many of us.

So, let’s all try to be extra kind and supportive and understanding of one another.

Also, remember the New Year is just around the corner.

Just flipping the page on the calendar to January can often give us the boost and encouragement we need.

One last thing. It feels much more manageable when we remember that we’re all in this together.

So, think about sharing your feelings with a friend, a colleague, or even just in the comments here.

You may just find a kindred spirit who can help you remember that we’re all so much more than enough.

Know you need never be alone. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org to reach a 24-hour crisis center, text MHA to 741741, call 911, or go to the nearest emergency room.

Thank you as always for reading.

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