Do you have a secret? If you’re like most people, you may have up to a dozen! We keep secrets for all kinds of reasons: shame, embarrassment, insecurity, to maintain privacy, or to protect someone else. Having a secret, in and of itself, doesn’t necessarily hurt us. It’s whether we dwell on it, and how […]
Emotional blackmail is a form of manipulation that is used to control an individual’s emotions, actions, and behavior. It is a tactic that involves the use of fear, guilt, shame, and obligation to get someone to do something that they may not want to do. Emotional blackmail can come from anyone, including family members, friends, […]
As we covered in our previous blog post on worry, overthinking and rumination, many of us suffer from intrusive thoughts that do not serve us. In fact, the majority of people experience persistent worries or overthinking at least from time to time. Strategies to counteract our tendency to worry and remedies for chronic overthinking vary […]
When you hear the term “low maintenance”, what comes to mind? Maybe a garden that doesn’t require much tending? Or a haircut that needs little attention? Maybe it’s a car that doesn’t require service very often. As people, we often consider being low maintenance a desirable quality. Why do we pride ourselves on requiring so little […]
Do you remember the book and movie “Love Story”? It was popular back in the 1970s, and the tagline was “Love means never having to say you’re sorry…” Although many people loved that movie, I hope few embraced that sentiment, because nothing could be further from the truth. It’s important for us to give each […]
Do you tend to be cynical about other people? Is it difficult for you to form friendships or enter into romantic relationships? When you do, do you often feel jealous or suspicious? Do you distrust your parents or family? There’s a word for feelings of intense mistrust, or prevalent ‘trust issues’, especially in the context […]
In an earlier post, we wrote about how essential transparency is to relationships. In that piece, we talked about being honest with ourselves as the first step to having more open and honest relationships. This post focuses on another aspect of transparency. Specifically, how privacy and secrecy are connected and how they both are key […]
Are you in a relationship with someone who hesitates to take responsibility or make commitments? Do you know a grown person who behaves more like a child or teen? “Arrested development” is a term that describes this condition. It arises when a person is “stuck” at an early phase of emotional development. Causes of arrested […]
Achieving intimacy in relationships takes trust and courage. Knowing we need to let others see all of us is just the beginning. After we realize and accept how critical it is to allow ourselves to be truly vulnerable, it’s still very hard to do. This is where the courage part comes in. It’s a huge […]
Many strategies to boost happiness encourage us to “let go”. The message is often that we should let go of negative emotions like anger, resentment, pain and hurt. But letting go of any feeling is challenging for most of us. We often have a particularly hard time when we try to let go of the […]
It seems like common sense: friendships make us feel good, so they must be good for us, right? Our friends help us enjoy life by sharing fun experiences and providing companionship. Friends can also be a sounding board when we face challenges or need to make difficult decisions. At times, just having a trusted friend […]
We most often speak of intimacy related to physical or sexual encounters. But intimacy has a much broader definition and is an essential component of a wide range of relationships. Sadly, many of our relationships today suffer from a lack of intimacy. It’s important for us to learn how to restore intimacy – before it’s too […]
We are all prone to be limited by blind spots in our thinking. We experience our routine, over and over. We’re presented with similar decisions, conversations, interactions. The way we think becomes a habit. Our ability to innovate, “think out of the box”, and pose new solutions to persistent problems becomes severely impaired. It’s a […]
Many of us want unconditional love. We equate unconditional love with being loved for who we are, with no strings attached. We also want to believe that we are capable of selfless and unconditional love of another person. But it’s not as easy as it sounds to love without conditions. And, at times, it’s not […]
Welcome to How to Find Happiness, Week 7: Healthy Relationships. “Our relationship with ourselves sets the tone for every other relationship in our lives.” – Robert Holden This quote says it all! What a perfect way for us to start off this post, which focuses on healthy relationships. Truly, the nature of our relationship with […]
What does intimacy mean to you? Though other thoughts often come to mind when we hear the word ‘intimacy’ what an intimate relationship is really all about is being able to be authentic with another person. To share our true selves without restraint. Intimacy takes more than a willing partner. Sometimes that can actually be […]
