Healthy Boundaries: 6 Ways to Have Better Friendships
Strong friendships are a precious aspect of life. Having people in our lives who know us so well and who we trust brings us joy, companionship, support and a vast collection of happy memories. There are many things that make a friendship take root and blossom. Once it does, you want to do whatever is necessary to keep it healthy and loving. One key that helps nurture connections and keeps a relationship respectful and sustainable is to establish and maintain healthy boundaries that work for both parties.
When we set clear boundaries and maintain them, we greatly increase the odds that our friendships will remain strong and mutually beneficial.
Today, we discuss the importance of setting boundaries in friendships and provide practical tips on how to establish and uphold them effectively.
How to Establish Healthy Boundaries with Friends
At the core of every meaningful friendship lies love, trust, and mutual respect. A critical element to supporting all of these is the presence of healthy boundaries. Boundaries that work for both parties are essential to a strong, supportive, and lasting relationship.
Though we often don’t establish them consciously, being aware of the need for boundaries can help us preserve and nurture relationships that might otherwise falter.
1. Identify Your Needs
The first step to establish healthy boundaries in friendships is to identify your own needs and priorities. Reflect on what you value in your friendships and what behaviors or situations make you feel uncomfortable or disrespected. With a clear understanding of your own needs, you can better communicate them.
2. Communicate Your Need for Healthy Boundaries
Communication is vital to healthy boundaries in friendships. If a behavior or situation makes you uncomfortable, let your friends know. Be clear and specific. For example, if you don’t feel comfortable with it, let others know that you dislike excessive criticism or gossip. If heavy drinking or substance abuse occur and you don’t share those habits, speak up.
Maybe you consider after a certain time at night to be family time. Or you would rather not make plans on weekday evenings. These are just a few of many potential examples.
The key is – if something bothers you, or is important to you, be assertive and let your friends know about it. If you can’t bring yourself to do it, it’s a sign. This person is probably not someone who you should spend time with. Use “I” statements to convey your feelings and avoid accusatory language that can lead to defensiveness. Enforce your boundaries with consistent actions.
3. Prioritize Yourself
It’s essential to prioritize yourself in maintaining healthy friendships. Consider your own needs and well-being when making decisions about your friendships. Don’t be afraid to put yourself first when necessary.
Avoid sacrificing your own comfort or happiness to please your friends or avoid conflict. If you have to make up an excuse when you don’t feel like getting together, that’s a sign. It’s probably not a friendship that’s going to stand the test of time. You should be able to tell a good friend: “I’m just not in the mood or feeling up to doing this tonight. Have fun!”
4. Respect Your Friends’ Healthy Boundaries
Remember that healthy boundaries go both ways, and it’s important to respect your friends’ boundaries as well. Listen to their needs and avoid behaviors or situations that make them uncomfortable or disrespected.
Engage your emotional intelligence to notice when something upsets your friends, even if they don’t say anything. Ask if things are okay. Encourage them to openly share any thoughts or feelings they are having. By fostering a mutual understanding of each other’s boundaries, you can cultivate a more fulfilling and respectful friendship.
5. Be Willing to Adjust Healthy Boundaries as Needed
Friendships are continually evolving and it’s essential to be willing to adjust your boundaries when necessary. As you grow and change, your needs and priorities may shift. Boundaries that once worked may no longer be applicable.
Similarly, the needs of your friends will evolve, too. Be cognizant of shifting priorities or lifestyle changes. Stay open to communicating and adjusting boundaries as needed.
6. Recognize Unhealthy Dynamics
Despite your best efforts, unhealthy dynamics can arise in friendships. Recognize warning signs such as excessive criticism, manipulation, or disrespect of boundaries, and take appropriate action to address them.
This may involve distancing yourself from the friendship. Or having a difficult conversation with your friend to explore what needs to change.
How Healthy Boundaries Help Keep Relationships Thriving
To ensure friendships remain fulfilling and respectful, it’s important to cultivate a relationship that honors the needs and desires of all parties. The best friendships are those that feel like a well-traveled two-way road built on mutual love, empathy, and understanding.
This includes establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries that work for all. To learn more about establishing boundaries in unhealthy relationships, visit:
How to Spot a High Maintenance Person in a Flash
Thank you as always for reading.
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Joan Senio is the founder of Kindness-Compassion-and-Coaching.com. Joan’s career includes clinical healthcare plus 20+ years as an executive in a nationwide health care system and 15 years as a consultant. The common threads throughout Joan’s personal and professional life are a commitment to non-profit organizations, mental health, compassionate coaching, professional development and servant leadership. She is a certified Neuroscience Coach, member of the International Organization of Life Coaches, serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is also a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me. You can read more about Joan here: Joan Senio.
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