Dealing with difficult people at work can feel like walking a tightrope. You want to maintain your professionalism while also protecting your peace. Today, we share a straightforward guide to help you tackle this tricky situation without losing your cool.
“Difficult people are opportunities for personal growth; they teach us patience, tolerance, and the power of inner strength.” – Unknown
How Do Difficult People Behave at Work?
Difficult people may exhibit behaviors that create interpersonal challenges and disrupt the overall work environment. Examples include:
- Difficult people can be argumentative, resistant to feedback or collaboration, and display a lack of empathy towards colleagues.
- They may engage in passive-aggressive behaviors, gossiping, or undermining the efforts of team members.
- They might also exhibit a sense of entitlement, refusing to take on tasks or contribute to the team effort, causing friction and resentment among coworkers.
Overall, difficult people can create tension, conflict, and an overall negative atmosphere, which can impact team morale and productivity.
Understanding The Behavior of Difficult People
It is safe to say that no one sets out to come to work and be difficult to work with. And that no one wants to alienate other people, or to perform poorly. Often, the behaviors of a difficult person reflect characteristics that they already know they need to work on.
So, first things first. Seek to understand and address the behaviors of difficult people. Sometimes all it may take to diffuse a situation is sincere empathy and clear communication.
What Makes People Difficult at Work?
We all know how challenging it can be not to immediately judge someone who is being difficult, but we must try. And ask ourselves: what motivates this difficult person’s behavior?
- Perhaps they feel insecure or threatened.
- Or perhaps they have been treated poorly in prior professional relationships and their behavior is a result of their defensive posture.
- Maybe they have worked in an unhealthy environment before and have witnessed others who succeed when they only look out for themselves.
- Or they have something going on outside of the office that is troubling them. We’ve all had bad days at work that actually had nothing to do with work – just as we sometimes have bad days at home that have nothing to do with home!
Taking the time to consider extenuating circumstances can change how you respond. Ideal next steps: Offer a gentle opening to a conversation. Let them know you would like to be their ally and ask if there is any way you can support them at work. Consider asking if there are ways that they would prefer to work together.
Often simply extending a hand can diffuse a difficult dynamic and be the beginning of a healthier relationship. If someone continues to be difficult after you’ve made appropriate efforts to support them, it’s time to explore other strategies.
Learn More About How to Deal with Difficult People at Work
Clear Communication and Boundaries are Essential
Another person’s difficult behavior doesn’t make it okay for us to act inappropriately. Staying calm and respectful is key. When confronted or challenged, it’s important to take a deep breath before reacting. That may seem like the hard part, but the hard part actually comes next.
At an appropriate time, in private, we must address a difficult person’s behavior in clear, easy to understand statements. For instance, “I feel uncomfortable when you interrupt me during meetings.” Or “I can’t engage in conversations that feel disrespectful.” The goal is to let the other person know what behaviors you find unacceptable.
Everyone deserves a safe space at work. Explaining your own perspective and setting boundaries is appropriate, professional behavior.
How to Continue to Work with Difficult People
Ideally, a difficult person will take your feedback to heart and begin to adapt their behaviors accordingly. But as we all know, things at work don’t always turn out the way we had hoped. If a difficult person continues to make life challenging for you at work, here are some other considerations to keep in mind:
- Not every confrontation needs to turn into a battle. Sometimes, it’s better to let minor issues slide. Consider whether addressing something will change the dynamic or just create more tension. Ask yourself: Is this worth my time and energy? Prioritizing your well-being is more important than proving a point.
- When difficult people try to throw you off track, remember your goals. Put your energy into your work, rather than getting caught up in the negative dynamics. This can help you stay motivated.
- If difficult behaviors continue or escalate, documentation is important. Keep records of any negative interactions. Note dates, times, and specifics. This can be key if and when you need to refer the matter to HR or management.
- Ask yourself: is this person’s behavior unique to their interactions with you, or do they demonstrate the same behaviors with other team members? Exploring this question may provide a new perspective.
- Reflect on your experiences and do your best to find a silver lining from the experience. What have you learned from dealing with difficult people?
If a difficult person does not adapt their behaviors after respectful one-on-one communication, and especially if their actions are impacting or jeopardizing team success, it’s time to share your observations with your own manager or supervisor. Seek their advice and emphasize your motivation: to preserve an effective team dynamic and to maximize team performance and professionalism.
How to Deal with Difficult People
Navigating a relationship with a difficult person at work can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. With understanding, communication, and some solid boundaries, it may be possible to reclaim your peace and productivity.
Other Resources
To learn more about how to manage difficult people, visit:
How to Spot a High Maintenance Person in a Flash.
Thank you as always for reading.
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Joan Morabito Senio is the founder of Kindness-Compassion-and-Coaching.com. Joan’s career includes clinical healthcare plus 20+ years as an executive in a nationwide health care system and 15 years as a consultant. The common threads throughout Joan’s personal and professional life are a commitment to non-profit organizations, mental health, compassionate coaching, professional development and servant leadership. She is a certified Neuroscience Coach, member of the International Organization of Life Coaches, serves as a thought-leader for KuelLife.com and is also a regular contributor to PsychReg and Sixty and Me. You can read more about Joan here: Joan Senio.
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