How to Understand Body Language and Communicate Better

Scientists estimate that non-verbal communication (most of which is considered “body language”) may account for 65% or more of our total messaging. So, it is quite important to be able to interpret the signals we see others giving us, and also to understand the messages we may be sending.

All About Body Language

Body language can include everything from facial expressions to physical posture.

The way someone feels may show in their eyes, or stance, or even in the way they sit in a chair. The signals are subtle, but evident if we know what to look for. If we truly seek to understand another person, paying attention to their body language can help. Understanding body language can also help us to understand the signals we may be sending to others.

It’s also interesting to note that body language is somewhat universal, around the globe. Although we may not understand a language someone is speaking, we may often be able to get a sense of what they are feeling by watching their facial expressions. At the same time, it can sometimes be challenging to interpret body language because many of the signals we send and receive can be quite ambiguous.

The term “body language” is a bit misleading

Usually, when we think of language, we think in terms of conscious forms of communication. We learn other languages (for example, American Sign Language) for the explicit purpose of communicating with others who are fluent in that language. But body language is very different.

It’s true, we can deliberately shape our faces into a specific expression if we choose. And we can assume various postures or stances, purposefully, if we decide we want to appear a certain way. But genuine body language is unconscious. We don’t control it. Our natural body language can be described as our brain’s way of broadcasting what we truly feel. If you think about it, body language may actually be one of the easiest ways to gauge the underlying emotions of others. Especially others who we do not trust, or don’t know well.

All the more reason to understand Body Language a little better

Our eyes are one of the most expressive features on our face. Most of us quickly notice if someone makes eye contact with us. Eye contact inspires confidence and conveys sincerity. But intense eye contact makes us uncomfortable. If someone maintains eye contact too long or too directly, we may feel the need to look away – our bodies send the signal to our eyes that we need some space, and without us consciously doing a thing, we avert our eyes to break the stare.

When we do look away, it can be misinterpreted by others: looking away can signal we are not interested, or that we are being dishonest.

Our eyes also send other clues about how we’re feeling. If we blink too much, is can mean we are nervous or stressed; if we don’t blink often, it can mean we’re trying to mask our true feelings. Looking up and to the right may mean we’re lying; but looking up and to the left may mean we’re trying to remember something.

And that’s just some of what our eyes are saying!

Another facial feature that often gives us away is our mouth. Smiling and frowning are pretty basic, but there are subtle variations that can convey much more. For example, a sad frown vs. an angry scowl. Or a sincere smile (that reaches the eyes) vs. a fake one, where the lips are upturned, but the eyes remain cold.

Biting our lips can mean we are worried. Tightly closed lips can mean we’re displeased. And, perhaps most telling – a covered mouth. When someone covers their mouth while speaking, it can mean they are ashamed; but it can also mean that they are lying, or hiding their true feelings.

I think some of us are more intuitive about reading other’s body language.

We innately know what someone feels by the way they move their eyes or the way the direction they are looking. Now imagine that same person is speaking words that indicate the exact opposite of their body language. Is it any wonder we’re confused by each other so often?

How Learning More About Body Language Can Help

Learning more about body language may help to clear up some of the confusion. It can help us read other people’s feelings better, which in turn will help improve communication and relationships. Because we all want to be understood – but may not be brave enough to say what we are truly feeling.

One way to gauge how another person feels is to pay attention to how much they mimic your body language. For example, if you’re in a meeting or on a date with someone, rest your arm on the table. Wait. Does the other person rest their arm on the table too? That’s a good sign – they want your relationship to be a positive one.

Other Examples

Similarly, you can sometimes tell what’s going on in someone’s head by looking at their feet!

People tend to try to control their facial expressions, but are less conscious of what their feet are saying. So the way someone’s feet are placed can be illuminating. For example, if someone has their feet planted firmly, facing you, that’s a good sign – they probably like you. If they’re talking to you, but their feet are facing in another direction – not so good. They want to be talking to someone else!

Like our feet, our hands can also disclose secrets. Are your hands in your pockets? Maybe you’re nervous – or maybe you are hiding something. Are you holding something in your hand between us? Maybe you are feeling like you need protection or want to block me out. Holding your head up with one hand, leaning on an elbow – you’re probably trying to focus. But holding your head up with both hands? You’re probably bored!

This is all just the tip of the iceberg, when it comes to body language.

It’s easy to see why understanding body language can be useful to us both in our personal and professional lives.

Thank you as always for reading.

If you haven’t yet subscribed, please visit KindCompassCoach and enter your email address so you never miss a post.


Discover more from KINDCOMPASSCOACH LIFE COACHING

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

4 Responses

  1. Lana says:

    Body language is really interesting, it can certainly tell you more than you think. It can definitely be important. | lanalikes.com

  2. Kelly Diane says:

    Great informative post. I never knew you could tell so much from body language alone

  3. Interesting. I incorporate reading people’s body language in my line of work being a relationship coach. You can tell a lot by the person’s facial expressions and it helps for better feedback to the client. Thanks for posting.

  4. Great post. Very interesting to read. I never knew before, it is possible to understand a lot through body language. But I have learned a lot through this post. Thanks for sharing your post.

Please share your thoughts!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Are Your Experiencing a Mental Health Crisis? Know That You Need Never Be Alone.

Call or text 988

Did You Miss the FREE Self-Esteem Series? No worries! Start With the Link Below

Find What You Need Most Quickly by Clicking the Tags Below!

Sixty and Me Contributor Badge
Come Follow Us On Twitter, too!

Testimonials: Love for KindCompassCoach

"In a world that is becoming increasingly polarized, separating into ‘us’ and ‘them’ far too often, KindCompassCoach is a lighthouse for those seeking a port in the storm. Joan writes straight from her heart using her wealth of knowledge to inspire, encourage, and offer kindness to each and every reader. I love that each post challenges me to consider how I can take the wisdom offered and practice it with intention. Those of us seeking truth and guidance, find it in every single KindCompassCoach post. From how to incorporate mindfulness to accessing our bank of positive memories during times of grief or struggle, Joan encourages her readers with unconditional understanding and compassion. This blog is a gem to be enjoyed and shared!"

Cathy Tubb, This Little Light

We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners. View more
Cookies settings
Accept
Privacy & Cookie policy
Privacy & Cookies policy
Cookie name Active
Life Coaching Sunrise Logo and Kind Compass Coach

Who we are

Comments

Media

Cookies

Embedded content from other websites

Who we share your data with

How long we retain your data

This is so we can recognize and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue.

For users that register on our website (if any), we also store the personal information they provide in their user profile.

All users can see, edit, or delete their personal information at any time (except they cannot change their username). Website administrators can also see and edit that information.

What rights you have over your data

Where your data is sent

Save settings
Cookies settings

Discover more from KINDCOMPASSCOACH LIFE COACHING

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading